Posts Tagged "Twitter"

Circles of Trust

Posted by Josie on Dec 5, 2009 in Me | 52 comments

Something has been playing on my mind a little lately.

You see, for me, the internet has always been about making connections. I’ve gravitated towards social networking sites, like Facebook and Twitter; towards forums and chatrooms. It’s been about finding information, yes, but mostly about making friends. I’m not a overly sociable person by nature, something I’ve talked about on here before, tending to feel shy and clumsy in front of people, and the ability to type rather than talk, to have to time to think about what to say, has always made me feel more confident, witty, and articulate than I feel in real life. I suspect many of you with a similar love for the online world feel the same.

Often I feel too tired for the effort of social interaction in my real life. I don’t get most people, or feel that they get me. I’m not very good at opening up to people, feeling like I have to pretend to be someone ‘acceptable’ the whole time, nor am particularly good at social niceties. I get irritated and bored easily, feel easily overwhelmed, and am very self concious. There are very few people I feel comfortable being truly myself with – my family, Ant and my best friend are the only people I’m not embarrassed to be ‘me’ with.

Online though it is different. I can choose to walk away from a social situation at any time. I can choose what information I reveal and what I choose to keep hidden, what points of view I’d like to share and those discussions I’d rather avoid. I can choose to spend time with the people I connect with, and politely ignore those that I don’t. I get to make the rules, and I love that.

I wonder sometimes what most of you would think of me if you met me in real life. Would you be disappointed? Surprised?

Generally I think I’ve been very honest on here, in fact I find it almost impossible not to be. I’ve revealed things I never would if I met you in real life, the safety of hiding behind my computer screen making me brave and allowing me to open up in a way I usually struggle with. I feel like I always give you an accurate picture of the ‘real’ me,  although maybe it is not the me that would be obviously apparent if you were to meet me. In short though, I have been truthful. Always.

I tend to make the automatic assumption that the people I come across on the internet are the same. I assume that when they talk about themselves, they too are being honest and truthful, giving a fair representation of their lives and of themselves. I mean, why would I doubt them? I do believe that the vast majority of the people that use the internet for social networking are genuine, honest people looking, like me, for a little connection. Perhaps, like me, their online persona is more comfortable for them then their real life one but at the end of the day, the people I ‘meet’ are the people that they are.

Generally my experiences have backed this up. I have, in the past, made friendships so strong online that they have carried over into real life too. I have met a number of people that I have previously only known by nicknames, or through an online presence, and  meeting them has been an amazing and positive experience – I may have never met these people but I did know them, some of them better than the vast majority of my real life friends. I feel my life is vastly enriched by these online friendships, both those in my past that are now real life friends too, and new friends that I’ve made recently through Twitter and the blog, some of whom I already feel very close to.

However.

Sometimes I do wonder if that is a little naive. There was once an incident in which I person I had befriended wasn’t who she said she was, or at least, the evidence seemed to point that way. I was deeply shocked and hurt, and for a time did become more wary about who I chose to trust. But I don’t like being suspicious of people, more predisposed to trust than I am to mistrust, and once again find myself placing a great amount of confidence in my online world, that it is exactly as it appears to be.

I’m really interested to know what you think about this.

SHOULD we trust the people we meet online? Should we exercise some caution? And how can you do that with out being cagey, paranoid and cynical? How do we protect ourselves yet still allow ourselves to be open enough to really connect with people? Have you generally found people to be truthful? Or have you been let down by people who weren’t who they said they were?

Why Twitter is better than Crack

Posted by Josie on Sep 4, 2009 in Uncategorized | 24 comments

Two things have saved me from the brink of insanity these last six months. OK, three things if you count my husband giving me five minutes to have a wee in peace without a small monster trying to ‘post’ his plastic Wonderpets Hamster between my clenched legs.

1. Blogging (self-explanatory – it rocks)
and…
2. Twitter

For some reason I’ve found the last six months especially hard. I mean, I found the first eight pretty horrendous too at times, but the last six? Man alive.

Maybe it’s because most of my friends went back to work and seemed to be coping so much better than me, being brilliant mummys AND having careers. Maybe it’s because Kai developed the ability to move. And move. And move some more. At high speed. Towards everything likely to kill him. Maybe it’s because in combination with the moving about he additionally developed the art of the apocalyptic temper tantrum  which he proceeded to unleash every half an hour, or every time I dared to look away from him or try and disattach him from my leg (whichever came soonest). Or maybe it’s simply because the months of no sleep and forgetting to eat and running on adrenaline alone finally caught up with me.

In any case, whatever it was, it’s been tough.

It was during a particularly bad couple of weeks that I discovered Twitter. Mostly (as I think it begins for most people) as a way of spying on Stephen Fry and Jonathon Ross and the like. After a couple of weeks I started to get a bit bored. I had a grand total of 15 followers and was fed up of stupid Stephen blanking me, despite my persistent and frankly hilarious tweets to him, and following Ashton and Demi’s very sub-standard and yawn inducing conversations. And there I think it would have ended.

That is, had it not been for a life changing discovery.

There were people on Twitter. I mean REAL people. And if you happened across them and sent them a tweet, then chances are they’d tweet you back. You could have CONVERSATIONS!

Now as you know, I like talking. But at the same time I’m not so good at the ‘face to face’ type talking. Suddenly on Twitter I could become the wise-quipping, super confident, articulate superstar that dwells deep under the cover of my socially problematic exterior. It was wonderful.

I loved the randomness of my encounters and my experiences. One day I chanced upon an emerging tweeting trend on the subject of the TV show LOST and ended up spear-heading attempts to uncover the mystery behind a fan-made artificial reality game (ARG) running online and through Twitter itself, writing a blog chronicling the exciting events. In the 4 weeks it ran, my blog got nearly 30,000 hits. Yes I know, it was geek stuff and was short lived. But it got me totally hooked on blogging as a writing medium and equally importantly it fuelled my Twitter obsession, opening up hundreds of new random encounters and conversations.

Blogging led to British Mummy Bloggers and the vast network of blogging mums and dads both here and all over the world, ALL of which seem to be on twitter and tweeting about their equally mundane and extraordinary lives. And the rest, as they say, is history.

Yes I am hooked. No I am not ashamed of the fact. It beats a drug addiction or alcoholism which I think are probably less appealing ways of surviving motherhood.

And it really has been remarkably therapeutic. When I’m at home, especially on those days where I just can’t face going out, or it’s raining (again) or I’m tired, I tend to have the laptop running as I go about my daily business, pausing ever so often when I get a chance to respond to the ‘buzz’ of my Tweetdeck or the ‘ping’ of an email. And taking ten minutes to check my messages and have a quick chat can sometimes be the one thing that gets me through an otherwise lonely, stressful day. It revives me, gives me the boost I need to get me through that day’s particular meltdown, or the energy to go to up to re-settle Kai for the umpteenth time that evening, or the sense of humour to laugh at the fact that I just burnt the tea and the front room looks like a bomb went off in Toys R Us (during closing time though – don’t worry. No icky bits of harassed parents. Just Toys N Wee). It’s a time-out for me. And a much needed one.

Now I know most of you reading this use Twitter already (hell I’m probably multi-tasking and talking to you right now!). But just in case  you’ve never tried it, or have and didn’t ‘get it’ (yes that’s you Ms Kendall) then here are some top tips:

1. I’ve learnt that you need to put yourself out there a bit. And be prepared to respond and chat about pretty much anything. In the past 24 hours alone I’ve tweeted about breastfeeding, self-build house cleaning robots, growing a giant handlebar moustache, monkeys, and taking over the world via the medium of catchy bass beats (dunnah dunnah clap). Oh and I chatted to the devil! That was fun…

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2. Celebs are a fun novelty. But if they are the only people you follow it’s going to get very boring, very fast. You need real life people. Compete strangers who tweet regularly work best.

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3. Follow a few interesting people, then see who they’re following and follow them. Then talk to everyone. If you sit there on your todd, tweeting the odd fact about your lunch and expect hoards of people to spontaneously start following you, then the Twitter magic isn’t going to happen for you. If people are boring you can always unfollow them again. 

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4. Don’t just tweet about your lunch. Unless it’s about toast. Cause for some reason that got me about 20 new followers last week.

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5. Prepare to get some interesting followers. And by ‘interesting’ I mean naked and probably sucking something disgusting in their profile picture. Don’t be scared – that’s what the ‘block’ button’s for. They’ll probably try to tempt you with their “Sexy New Vid! Click Here!” (don’t), or their promise of hundreds of new followers for just $1, or instant teeth whitening products. Block block block. Or, alternatively, try tweeting them and see what happens! You’ll soon start to love them in a kind of “I’d miss you if you weren’t here” kinda way. If only because their numbers in your Followers count will make you feel more popular.

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6. Read Scary Mommy’s fab posts on Twitter Etiquette and The Best Twitter Applications. Both essential reading material for any aspiring tweeter.

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7. Follow MEEEE!! You really should.

And since it’s ‘Follow Friday’ and just to get your started – here’s my top pick of people to follow on Twitter. Some are bloggers, some just make me laugh, some are generally just fabulous. And some are all three. Follow them all and collect the set. And if I miss you off it don’t take it personally - just would be here all night if I listed everyone!

@icklebabe_com @Soph4Soph @snafflesmummy @ilovemonty @LauraAWNTYM @Joner 

@MyShitty20s  @WestonsuperMum @ScaryMommy @swhittle @mamakatslosinit @dooce

@AmberStrocel @MummyBloggers @neenerspb @ruthiemossy  @aedison @TheMabster

@hotcrossmum @PotatoFilm @myautisticson @naptimewriting @SouthWoodsMom @flimgeeks 

@TheNDM  @notsuchayummum @RealBillBailey  @Shoegalsedgwick @immoralangel_uk

and, last but not least, my hubby @legobloke  who doesn’t tweet much but posts great pictures of Kai!

Oh… and of course!

@stephenfry

*DISCLAIMER* Despite the title of this post I do not advocate Crack or drug use in any way shape or form. Just say no people. Unless it’s to Milky Way Stars. Then you’re fine.

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Right! Now it’s your turn (cause that worked so well last time). The topic is… Twitter! Love it? Loathe it? Tell me why…

The Two Habits Of A Highly Effective Baby And Other Stories.

Posted by Josie on May 21, 2009 in Uncategorized | 2 comments

Morning all. Well it’s been an eventful few days in our house after a strange turn of events led me to start writing on a blog chronicling the ins and outs of a rather complicated online game based around the tv show LOST (which is btw THE GREATEST SHOW IN THE HISTORY OF TIME!). Doesn’t sound very exciting to most of you I know – until I tell you that in the last three days the blog has had 8,500 hits and been mentioned on dozens of Lost fansites, news websites, and blogs! At one point the game (known as #lostarg on Twitter) got in the top ten most talked about topics and has had a HUGE following. It all got completely out of hand with lots of people getting very carried away setting up false trails and generally playing the players – but that’s another LONG story. Reporting on it all has been enormous fun and a very welcome distraction from the drudgery of everyday life – I never could have imagined I would get so many readers. For my part in it all I have been irritating all my Twitter friends by posting endless references to obscure codes and Egyptian Mythology through my twitter alter-ego ‘Porridgebrain’. I’m sure I’ve confused the life out of everyone so apologies there.

Anyway- back to reality.

In other news Kai has developed two interesting new habits. One is to repeatedly smack both me and his dad round the face when he gets excited. The other is pound all food offered to him on his highchair flat with his palm before eating it (well, before eating what’s survived the attack and not ended up splattered on the floor/walls/my face). Neither is going down particularly well with me I have to say.

Poor mite has been super grumpy this week with the return of the dreaded ‘T’ word, the word that strikes terror into the hearts of all mothers – Teething. Such a innocuous word and one that, before I became a parent, I dismissed without a thought. Little did I know how much it would take over my life and my sleep. So ok all you non-parenty types out there here’s the truth about teething. Babies are born without teeth (well most of them, except those weird babies you read about born with a full set – urgggh!) and then over the next approximately 2 years have to grow 20 of the damn things. They move around while the poor child sleeps, causing untold agony and misery, they cut through and then pop back in again, teasing you with their games. You waste your money on untold numbers of  teething products; gels, granules, drops, teething rings, all promising to bring relief but doing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. And then finally they appear, one by one or in pairs, ready to be tested out on your fingers, face, nipple, in fact what ever your child can get their new surprisingly sharp gnashers into.

It’s official. Teething sucks. Or maybe ‘bites’ would be better.

Kai currently has 8 teeth (yes that means 12 more to go! *sob!*), four on the top and four on the bottom, so these ones coming through now are his molars which are bigger and therefore more painful. I can see one of the buggers at last but I’ve learnt not to trust that as a sign it might be over – they have a cruel agenda of their own these bloody teeth and I doubt poor Kai is free of trouble just yet.

Anyway I’m off to make a cuppa. The delightful child got me up at 4am this morning and has only just gone down for a nap so I better make the most of the peace.

TTFN!