You sat on my chair yesterday and when I asked if things were good with, you told me, in your voice that I could always use like a sonar device to locate you in crowds of hundreds when I was little, that you were more than well, that you were happy and in love and that life was wonderful.
And my heart went BOOM. Because I am prouder of you than almost anyone else I know and because I owe you so much. You, more than anyone, have taught me to keep trying and that life is not really about where you’re going but about the things you do along the way, and you have taught it me well.
Love you Dad. I am so glad the wonderful found you, because you deserve it.
I’m not a religious person particularly, most of you know this. I struggle to believe in a Higher Power. But there have been times when something happens to make me wonder about it all.
You could call that ‘something’ lots of things I suppose: an answer to prayer, or synchronicity, or fate, or karma, or just plain luck.
In any case, I’m getting a lot of ‘somethings’ happening right now.
I have this theory you see. It seems to have be proven in my life over and over again. It’s that if you really need something, and I mean NEED, not just want, not just the way I need the pair of gorgeous boots on page 48 of the Joe Browns catalogue, but if you have in your life a really genuine need for something in particular, and you are humble enough and open enough to see opportunities when they arise, well the Universe** has a way of way of giving you what’s needed. It doesn’t always come in the form you expect, and requires a certain way of looking sometimes, but it’s there. It finds a way to you.
I find myself in pretty genuine need of quite a lot of things.
Some of them are mundane silly things, but that still have the power to make quite a big difference to my day to day life. Just stuff that’s broken, or old and worn out.
And then there’s the bigger things. Money-type things. Worries. Shortages. Significant things missing from my life that leave a hole.
And what’s amazing is that these things seem to be finding their way to me. The little stuff and the big stuff.
And this post is just to say, to specific generous people, and to whoever it is up there pulling the strings or the strange cosmic force orchastrating it all, or to no-one at all, just random chance, WHOEVER, this post is just to say thank you. I’m grateful for it all, even the little stuff. And I won’t waste it. And I’ll find a way to give it back some day, too. Somehow.
And it’s to say thank you to you too. Because something I have been in desperate, heart-felt need of for a very long time was friendship, and connection and understanding.
And I seem to have been given that by bucketload recently. I promise to try and give that back too.
Thank you x
**I say ‘Universe’ in lieu of any other particular convincing term. You can call it God if you like. Or you can just decide I’m talking bollocks – I may well be.
Read MoreI just wanted to say a huge thank you for all the people that have contacted me to say how much they are enjoying the blog and have taken the time to give me so much encouragement to keep writing.
I’m quite good at showing a confident, self-assured front, but I am not so good at believing it, so your positive feedback has meant the world to me. Really. I can’t quite tell you how much.
For my little Facebook Army - you can leave comments on here you know! Don’t be shy! It’s always lovely to hear what you’ve thought about something or for you to throw in your two pennies worth.
And in response to a frequently asked question: I don’t know whether I’m going to take this further, flattered as I am by the suggestion. I’m still playing around with this writing business and seeing where it takes me. So who knows?
Watch this space I guess.
(and keep telling me whether or not it’s all rubbish!)
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