Posts Tagged "sleeping through the night"
New Dawn
This morning, I put on half my wardrobe and went out while it was still dark to watch the Solstice sun rise. I left the boys safe and warm and wandered, alone but with a head full of thoughts for company, to my quiet nature sanctuary.
There was a spring in my step as I walked on pavements, glittering with quartz, avoiding frozen puddles and leaving deep footprints in the hard frost. Because last night, on the longest night, I got MY longest night for 18 months.
Kai slept. At last. He slept. And so did I.
Waking up briefly at 10pm, he settled holding my hand and then I didn’t hear from him again until 6am. When I went in to him, all tousled and wrinkled from his long sleep, he smiled me a smile that told me he knew he’d done an important thing. And with a excited hug and a frantic tug towards our bedroom he was eager to snuggle up with me and his dad and have his first, long and happy feed since before he’d gone to bed. By Jove, I think he’s got it.
It may not be repeated tonight, in fact I expect not, but that’s ok. We’ve turned a corner here, I can feel it. And the hope for better nights, and finally some refreshing sleep, has never been stronger.
And so, with the energy that comes only from a decent stretch of sleep, I walked this morning. For over an hour I sought out the sun from its hiding place and watched as it rose, glowing and golden from the horizon. I watched the light change, touching the icy marshes, and the world transform.
I thought a lot. About the last 18 months, about the next year ahead. About my hopes and my anxieties and my confusion sometimes about why on earth I am here and what the hell I’m supposed to be doing. I didn’t find answers, but as the geese flew across the grapefruit sky in a perfect V, I too found some peace.
A new day has dawned.
Happy Yule everyone x
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Well you can’t knock Kai for his ability to keep me on my toes.
The night before last he broke all records sleeping the longest stretch of his ENTIRE LIFE!!! A whole six and half hours all in a row. And after he’d woken up, guzzled down his usual few gallons of milk and gone back to sleep he only woke up a further ONCE!!!!!!!
I’m not sure you’ve grasped the significance of this.
He woke up TWICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And yes, the exclamation marks totally justified. And YES I’m going to shout a lot in this post and DON’T CARE.
Because not only did he only wake up twice, he didn’t want to get up till 7am… AND… spent the whole night in his cot in his OWN ROOM.
Perhaps you’re wondering (like I did) whether someone secretly swapped out my genetically flawed Hyper-No-Sleep 5000 baby with a regular, normal, standard issue one.
But no, it was really Kai.
Do you know how I know?
Because of LAST night. Last night, after jubilantly celebrating all day that ‘This was IT baby!’ and that we’d really turned a corner, phoning all my friends and relatives and stopping random people in the street to grab them by their lapels and look with crazy frenzy into their frightened eyes and squeal “SIX AND A HALF HOURS!!”
Last night when I sauntered off to bed safe in the knowledge that I most likely had at least three hours before being woken up, and probably another three or four hour stretch after that.
Last night when Kai was awake all fricking night.
So no. Doesn’t look like that was IT baby. Looks like that was just a horrible cruel fluke.Quite possibly because Kai nearly knocked himself out on the skirting board that day and I had two rather large glasses of wine. Yep, nothing like a mild concussion and alcohol laced breast milk to guarantee some sleep.
And of course because I’d been treated to night of half-decent sleep the night before, a night of virtually no sleep hit me extra hard. And I was so tired this morning that… well… I’ll tell you how tired I was. EXACTLY how tired.
Because I’m starting a new thing. It’s called ‘This Mama so tired’.
It’s kinda like ‘Yo Mama so fat’ except better. And less horribly offensive. (And yes I know it’s not grammatically correct but it’s hip, innit?)
So here’s mine – then you have to give me yours:
This Mama so tired that… she realised that she’d thrown her dirty underwear in the toilet rather than in the laundry basket
This Mama so tired that… when writing a birthday card for one of Kai’s buddy’s she wrote
To Kai, Happy Birthday Love Kai x
This Mama so tired that… she can’t SEE!
I’m not kidding! I seriously thought I might be going blind. I booked an appointment at the opticians and prepared myself for the worst but turns out my eye sight in test is fine (phew!). Well, no worse than it’s ever been – I still have a slightly lazy eye. Apparently I’m just so exhausted that even the muscles in my eyes are tired! Thus giving me rather screwy vision, especially in bright light. The lovely leather elbow-patch cladded Optician prescribed me a decent pair of sunglasses and some sleep. He even may have used the word ‘dear’ and patted my arm.
THAT’S how tired I am.
So how tired are you Mama?
P.S. I’m know I’m being horrible and excluding Dads here but Yo Pappa doesn’t really sound right does it? Men folk – if you can pull it off or think of a Dad equivalent then by all means do so…
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