Shameless Self-Promotion | Sleep is for the Weak

What Josie Did

Posted by Josie on Nov 21, 2009 in Me, Writing | 20 comments

So… yesterday…

Actually, no. Back track. To last Sunday. When I finally managed to swallow a huge elephant sized chunk of pride and asked my Mother-in-Law whether she would like to have Kai over to play for a few hours every Friday afternoon. Kai adores her, they have a dog called “DEEEE” (Eddie in Kai-speak) and a back room full of toys. It was always going to be a win-win situation. I’m just not very good at asking for help… but… I did! And it felt good! (once the huge chunk of pride had worked it’s way past my windpipe anyway).

We can scoot forward again now. It’s Friday afternoon, I have waved Kai off happily sat in the back of Grandma’s car clutching his digger in one hand and a police car in the other and grinning like loon.

I have four hours. Four whole childless, peaceful hours.

What on earth do I do?!

Well for starters I have made a deal with myself that these four hours each week are NOT going to be spent doing housework. Absolutely not. I also made a deal with myself that these four hours would be spent outside, or, at least out the house.

So I packed up Clive and my notebook and my many pens and I put some gloves and a hat on and I went out. ALONE.

It was so weird. I did crazy things. I crossed the road when the red man was still showing. I carried a bag that did not contain a nappy, wipes, three toy cars or emergency raisins. I walked past people thinking “they don’t know I’m a mummy! I could be ANYONE!” and tried to look mysterious and alluring.

I bought a cheese sandwich and I sat on a bench in the middle of town with my legs on the arm and I wrote until I couldn’t feel my fingers anymore.

And then I sat in Starbucks and ate the cream off my grande hot chocolate with a spoon and wrote some more. And then I went to MacDonalds and stole their free Wi-fi while rebelliously not ordering ANYTHING but setting up camp next to a rubbish covered tray in a genius undercover stake-out maneauve.

And then I went home.

It was glorious.

And I learnt the following things:

1. I absolutely, unconditionally, obsessively love PEOPLE. Not to the point where I actually want to talk to them, but just to watch them all go about their busy little lives, overhearing snippets of conversation, noticing their funny little gestures and weird clothing choices. I am addicted to them and their randomness. I could sit and watch them all fricking day. Or all afternoon anyway. I am not sure how writers ever run out of things to write about when there are six and half billion of the wonderful weirdos to write about.

2. The prices for WiFi in Starbucks are criminal. I’ve just paid nearly £3 for a drink you evil multi-national corporation. How dare you try and charge me over a fiver for 90 effing minutes. Humph.

3. Clive is heavy.He could do with loosing a few pounds.

4. I can both miss Kai and be very grateful for his temporary absence at the same time.

5. Sometimes I really, really like not having to talk to anyone for a few hours. To not say a single word. It means I can hear the words in my head a bit easier. And that makes it easier to write them down.

6. I love Freedom Friday

Thanks Wendy x

P.S. Today, on my wanderings across the interwebs, I completely ‘accidentally’ happened across a rather cool and extremely interesting and brilliant blog. You should probably check it out… you know, if you like… Dunno who she is. But she seems pretty ace. Whoever she is…

Available to Hire

Posted by Josie on Nov 5, 2009 in Me | 32 comments

Description: One very hard working mum. Witty, occasionally delightful, unintimidating given that I look about 14, clean (mostly), polite with a very posh voice that I have no idea where I have picked up from.

Available for: Writing. On anything really. I’m not picky. Although ideally you would pay me to work on my (non-existant yet endlessly potential-filled) novel for a share of the (inevitably) huge profits.

I shall require: A large, airy office with a toaster and kettle, a fridge full of snacks, and a sofa for napping. The atmosphere should oxygen-rich to allow for clear thinking and any guilt/insecurity/general wobbles should be extracted and filtered, bottled and then slipped into the tea of rich and famous people I don’t like. I would have as little contact with human beings as feasibly possible, unless they are extremely interesting and not stupid, ignorant fools. There will be absolutely no team working or silly training days where I am required to go paint-balling or actually talk to people. Turning up to work in Pyjamas would be positively encouraged.

There will need to be fabulous childcare facilities, paid for obviously, which will allow for lots of independent and outdoor play and not mind kids getting messy, being ‘spirited’ or getting easily overwhelmed.

Working day: I will be available to work from 8.30am and then require an hour for blog reading/writing (my google reader is into triple figures), then will work until lunch time at which point I will require a catering service to proved me with something delicious. Afternoons will be spent with my boy in the sunshine, having adventures, and finding new and ingenious things to do with cardboard boxes and paint. This shall be deemed ‘research’ and suitably reimbursed.

I will then work an extra two hours at the end of the day while someone cleans my house, prepares tea, and wrangles an over-tired toddler until I am finished.

Salary: Six figures, naturally. Although right now I would settle for enough to give my family a nice Christmas and have a break some where sunny and quiet. Oh and some new boots.

Available to hire immediately.

Don’t all rush at once now…

What’s your angle?

Posted by Josie on Oct 22, 2009 in Writing | 49 comments

Well this is all very exciting – my first post on my spangly new laptop! (yes, I know spangly isn’t a word but it should be and I’m a writer now so can make up new ones whenever I like…)

I NEVER get new toys so this is a bit of a treat. Me and the husband have been having a bit of an issue over laptop usage – since most of my evenings are now spent doing one bit of writing or another, the poor love doesn’t get a look in, looking at movie geek sites or whatever the hell it is he does (most likely playing Football Manager – ahem. Did I mention he was 31 in a couple of weeks?) . Despite the fact that he’s been his usual exceedingly patient and understanding self and not uttered one word of a moan about me forever tap tapping away, it does seem a bit unfair. So when I got some grant money through from the OU we decided to get me a ‘work’ laptop. Partly as a kind of investment in this writing adventure I think. I kind of ’I can do it (because I have a spangly new laptop)’ self-belief present.

In fact, in honour of my new self-belief ‘I can do it’ laptop I am going to make a promise…

I am going to write my first book on this baby. Oh yes I am.

I have no idea what about yet, but that’s a minor point…

Anyway. That’s not what this post is about. Well, it’s kind of what the post is about but only in a very long winded god-are-you-ever-going-to-get-to-the-point kind of way.

I shall get to the point.

The other day sweetie pie Karin at Cafe Bebe wrote about having a blogging confidence crisis – wondering why she was blogging, what did it all mean, whether it was it worth it, worrying that she wasn’t popular, and so on. Now, I think we’ve all been there. In fact, those that know me will know it’s a regular occurrence for me (having had to be dissuaded from deleting half my blog posts just the other day). Blogger’s Wobble is soon going to have to recognised as a certifiable mental affliction amongst the blogging community.

Obviously we all (recognising the symptoms) jumped to Karin’s reassurance that she was doing just fine, to forget the stats and get back to blogging basics – doing it cause you love and it and have something to say.

But some of the (very helpful) comments got me thinking. They echoed what I have heard said time after time about blogging – the importance of voice. Of having a unique personality and selling point for your blog, that ultimately THAT is what makes a blog successful and stand out from it’s ‘competitors’ (and I use that word loosely as that’s SO not what blogging should be about).

Now generally I do OK at keeping the Blogger’s Wobble at bay. I don’t spend TOO much time thinking about stats and ratings, only occasionally stressing over silly things like why I haven’t got many subscribers when I get lots of hits (*sob*). Mostly I’m just so in love with the whole thing that I don’t really stop to think about it.

But this thing about voice, that really struck a cord. You see, the ‘popularity’ thing I can let go, but I do really, really want to stand out from the crowd in terms of most definitely not being ‘just another mummy blog’ and instead having something different and interesting to say. And what I love is that I think I’m finding mine. It’s taken a while to evolve but I’m beginning to get the sense that this blog has a ‘something’ that is mine and unique to me.

So. Here’s my angle.

I am a mummy. I am an aspiring writer. I find motherhood hard and I am honest about that. I blog because I love to connect and to write and play with words and thoughts and ideas.

What’s your angle? Or what would you like it to be?

Or if you don’t know, maybe you should think about it? WHY do you blog? What do you hope to achieve?

I’d really love to know x

New Feature – Writing Workshop!

Posted by Josie on Oct 9, 2009 in Writing Workshop | 15 comments

I finally feel like I’m getting going with this blogging malarkey. I have been posting regularly now for just over three months and have been both surprised and overwhelmed with how warm and encouraging the response has been. My readership is growing in a way I never would have expected (in the month that this new domain has been active I’ve had over 6,000 visits alone!) and your comments and positive feedback have been such an incredible boost and validation to me.

Thank you. I hope you are enjoying reading, I really do. Connecting with you through here is becoming such an amazing source of inspiration and support to me. So please do keep coming back.

Now I’ve got my feet firmly under the table, with a carnival under my belt and a debut place in at number 73 on the Monthly Tots 100 Index of Top Parent Blogs and Bloggers, I feel it’s time to crank this party up a gear.

Alongside my regular post, I’ve been thinking of running a weekly feature for you all to participate in. Something fun that will get your creative juices flowing and hopefully introduce you to some new blogs too.

So here’s the deal-io. Alongside this fledgling blog, as many of you know, and partly as a result of it, has been a growing interest and passion for writing. I know I’m not the only one who enjoys writing, in fact I know that it’s a driving force behind many of the blogs I read and enjoy – people, like me, looking for a way to express themselves and in the process falling back in love with words and language. And I wanted to do something to encourage that, to help fire us all up creatively and get us blogging and writing about the things that inspire us.

Once a week I’m going to issue you with a choice of writing prompts, with inspiration taken from blogs I have read that week and any ideas suggested to me. You’ll then have a few days to think about and write your response to the prompt (or prompts) of your choice and publish it on your blog. If you like I’ll take email submissions too from all you non-blogging weirdos folk, and publish them for you. You can even do it anonymously if you prefer!

Then come back, and via a very handy little widget you’ll be able to publish the link to your post and share it with the world. You’ll be encouraged to read and respond to other entries and comment on your favourites and share perhaps if they’ve inspired you in some way, or made you think about something in a different light, or moved you, or made you laugh. Who knows. I’ll do it too of course, and post my entry along with the widget for your links.

What do you think?

Now I should point out. This isn’t an entirely original idea. In fact it’s a complete rip-off. My American blogging buddy Mama Kat has been running the same concept over at her fab blog for quite some time. But, because she’s lovely, Kat is quite happy for me to start my own UK version of her own writer’s workshop (they’ll be more tea, “bloody hell”s and stiff upper lips over here), and it’s far too good an idea not to spread about a bit. Kat has her audience in the US, and I have mine here in the UK and Europe (and beyond!) so between us I think we’ve got pretty much all of the globe covered (yep, we are that good and you know it). I’ll be running it on a different day (so you can even pop along and participate in both if you’re extra keen) and very firmly in association with her blog to give all credit where credit is due.

Prompts will be up on Monday so pop back then if you’d like to participate! And don’t forget to subscribe to my RSS feed if you haven’t already to make sure you’re kept up to date with both my day-to-day posts and the writing prompts as they are published. And stand by – because I am going to require some mad promotion on all of the social networks of your choice.

In the meantime here’s a handy badge link for you to copy for your blog if you’d like to take part, or to use in your workshop posts once we get started (kinda funky don’t you think?!):