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Writing Workshop: One Year – On me, Cybermummy and Blogging

Posted by Josie on Jun 27, 2011 in Blogging, Charity Organisations and Awareness Raising, Me, Save the Children, Writing, Writing Workshop | 47 comments

This is the bracelet I wore to Cybermummy this weekend. In case you don’t recognise the symbol, it’s a Save the Children one, and on the back is engraved “Every Child Born To Shine”.

I lay in my hotel room the following morning, ribs aching from laughing, heart aching from unexpected feeling, and head a little numb from thinking, and rubbed the red token with my thumb in the sunshine coming through the blind. And I thought back on the last year.

Thinking about last year’s Cybermummy I suddenly realised how much I’d changed, and how much those changes have affected the way I approach and experience things. Not just things like Cybermummy, everything really, but comparing myself at the two events really hit home.

Last year’s saw me full of self-doubt, feeling like I had something to prove, feeling like I needed to convince everyone that I had something to say that was worth listening – brands as well as people. In a room full of mostly strangers I felt small. Standing up to deliver my talk about blogging and authenticity and voice as part of the main panel session, something I had anxiously worried over long before-hand, I felt like a fraud, like I didn’t deserve to be there and I worried that everyone else thought it, too. This meant I tried a bit too hard, I think. It certainly meant I worried more, a bundle of self-concious nerves with a slightly forced face of confidence and a ‘I belong here’ attitude to try and convince myself.

But by the end of the weekend I wasn’t in a room full of strangers any more, and my voice had reached people that I never would have expected, prompting an email a couple of weeks later from Save the Children and the beginning of that amazing journey and all the changes that followed.

Writing Workshop: Mama

Posted by Josie on Dec 9, 2009 in Creative Writing, Writing, Writing Workshop | 35 comments

Welcome back to the Wednesday Writing Workshop link-up! At the bottom of this post you’ll find the widget to post the link to your workshop posts. I have a feeling it’s going to be a quieter one this week after all of last week’s enthusiasm, but that’s ok – we’re all allowed to wax and wane a little.

First of all though, it’s my turn of course. I’ve chosen prompt #4 and tried to put myself in the mind-set of the person that I understand both most and least. Sometimes I feel so connected to this person it as if I can quite literally read his thoughts. At other times though I find him completely unfathomable, infuriatingly confusing and impossible to gauge correctly. It is my boy of course, my monster, my ratbag, my heart and soul. I hope you enjoy it.

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Hello mama. I am going to tell you some of the things I like. Ok?

I like it when my face is fitted tight into the space your neck makes.

My arm must be tightly wound so you cannot get away and my fingers must feel the shape of your face. It is like a book and I want to read it over and over. I feel the softness of your skin, you hair and it makes me happy. I breathe and the smell of you is my breath and fills me up warm and safe like my milk which is my favourite thing. I need you mummy.

I like to press my forehead against your own, noses squashed. I hear your thoughts and they are noisy.

I like it best when you talk to me with words I know. I make my mouth make the sounds of talking, I tell you so many things. The best is when you understand and if you get it right I will tell you so yeah yeah. And nod and smile. I like YES! I like it when you tell me what we are doing next and then we do it. I’m not so keen on surprises mummy. Especially if they involve medicine or brushing my teeth.

I like it when we give names to things. You show me and I bury it deep in my brain. I like the sounds they make. There are so many sounds. I wish I could make my mouth make the right sounds but it doesn’t sound the same when I try. I like to play the ‘where is the’ game. I can tell you where everything is, especially if it is on me or one of my favourite things. I like the animals that we see. They move and they do funny things. I like Grandma’s dog the best when I feed him biscuits, but also the birds mummy when they go up so high I can’t see.

I like outside. I will fetch you my shoes and coat if it helps but we must go now because the wind and the sun and the puddles and pigeons are telling me to hurry. I like to move like you on my legs. I can make them go fast mummy. Outside is big but I want to see it all and I want to choose the way. You must come with me but do not pull me or make me go there because I want to be here and go this way. That is where my feet are going so it is tough luck. I shall tell you when I see a bus or the bin men with my excited voice – they are special mummy.

I like my toys. My cars are favourite. I like to make their sound pap pap brrmm brrmm and push them and make them go and go. Blocks go on top of more blocks and make tall towers to crash and smash. I like to make my crayons make a mark that is brand new and wasn’t there before on the white. I like the TV on please mummy, especially if there is singing so we can dance and you can sing the words. And I like splashing with water, and drinking it too, lots and lots. More water please. Yum yum delicious.

I like it when you read my books with me and we point at everything there is to see. I want this one again, and then you must read it again. And do the voices mummy because it makes me laugh. I like laughing. It bubbles out because you tickle it out of me and do funny things.

Sometimes though I do NOT like. And when I do NOT like I will tell you with all of my body and all of my sound so that you will listen.

I do not like it when I am tired. You tell me I must go to sleep but sometimes I cannot. My brain is full of things, big things and sometimes they move very fast and are scary. Sometimes I am just not ready to do sleeping. I try though mummy, I really try. Don’t be mad with me.

I do not like it when I feel not-good. I do not know what it means but it hurts in my mouth and my teeth and my tummy and makes me cry because I am frightened and I want to sleep but it makes me awake.

I do not like it when you make me be separate when what I need is to be in the same space as you are. My body feels lonely and needs to not be separate for a while. I promise I will be separate another day but not today.

I do not like it when you don’t understand. I am telling you what I want but you have got it wrong and I am angry because I tried very hard. You must listen mummy and do what I say so I can feel happy again. And it must be now because waiting is no good at all. If you don’t I will tell you NO NO NO and shake my head and arch and wriggle because I MUST NOT. It is very important.

Let’s get the duvet and make a den. You must lie down and I will put my head on your chest and we can be very still and together.

And make Night Garden come on mummy because it has that funny train on and you are very good at the singing bits.

Thank you.

I love you.

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So now it’s your turn! What prompt did you choose?

1. What are you addicted to?
- Inspired by Kat at Slugs on the Refrigerator and her yarnaholism.

2. Tell me of your proudest moment.
- Inspired by Tara at Sticky Finger’s beautiful post ‘Jumpers for Goalposts’

3. “Have you ever had an epiphany, when you realized that something you’d long believed wasn’t really true?”
- Inspired by Amber Strocel’s recent post that asked this question and made me think.

4. Put yourself in the mindset of someone else and write about the world from their perspective.
- Inspired by Heather from Notes from Lapland’s moving piece of writing based on her empathy for the victims of the Cumbrian Floods.

5. Have a good rant. Go on! You know you want to…
- Inspired by ME! and my Christmas rant this week.

Leave your name and the URL to your post in the MckLinky below (the URL should be to your post not just to your blog) andleave me a comment to let me know you’ve taken part. If you have the time it would be great if you could try and read and comment on at least two other entries. And be kind! It’s supposed to be a bit of fun – we’re not looking for the next Booker Prize winner here!

If you haven’t had chance to respond yet, then you’ve still got today! Or just wait till next week, when there’ll be five brand new prompts to get you thinking.

(Linky Closed)

This Writing Workshop is brought to you in association with Mama Kat’s Losin’ It – who’s lovely author came up with the concept and runs her own workshop over in the U.S.

On giant toddlers, bum cracks and a whole lot of Pooh

Posted by Josie on Dec 6, 2009 in Uncategorized | 13 comments

It is official.

My son is some kind of giant child.

At not quite 17 months old he is now growing OUT of his 18-24 month clothes. Kai’s freakishly long body are giving his vests a rather slovingly off the shoulder look and revealing about three inches of bare chest which is probably not ideal in December. And although we’re still rolling up trouser legs, Kai’s enormous Buddha belly is putting serious strain on his waist line. And this is AFTER he’s slimmed down quite substantially since learning to walk.

This is not good news. I was hoping our huge bin bag of nearly-new clothes from the last NCT sale (in which I showed SPECTACULAR elbowing and bagsying skill) would get us right the way through winter. But no, Mr-Growth-Spurt has gone and bloody grew. So inconsiderate.

I have to admit though, I kinda love his little bod at the moment. He’s got all lanky, his legs have lost some of their chubbiness and gone all knobby and long. It’s not a baby body any more, it’s a toddler body, complete with requisite bruises, scrapes and bumps.

His toddler body matches his new toddler moves. He’s walking confidently now, even working up to a little tottering run. He still has a tendency to fall over and charge head first into door frames (hence bruises) but his body confidence is growing, as is his stamina and his desire to walk further and further. He’s learnt how to stamp his feet, which has resulted in some interesting new dance moves, and has perfected the adorable toddler squat as he plays his complicated car games, lining them and pushing them round, or two stop in the street and pick up whatever interesting twig or leaf has caught his eye. I could watch him all day. I really could.

One other change resulting from all the growing and moving around has been his nappies. A month or two back I finally had to pack Kai’s cloth nappies away, given that they were now revealing about an inch of bum-crack, cutting into his chunky legs, and having to be ridiculously padded out to cope with the shear volume of toddler wee.

It was a sad day. I shall miss his big bottom look and pegging them out on the line (I defy anyone to tell me a sight more beautiful and satisfying that clean nappies drying in the sunshine). They’ve now been washed (you’ll be glad to know) and packed away ready for the bambino #2 when we decide we’re brave enough to start this crazy journey all over again.

So, Kai’s in disposables full time. And I have to say, I kind of love them!! Scraping sticky excrement of cloth is something I don’t miss in the slightest, and given the potency of Kai’s poos these days it allows you to work fast: remove, contain, get it as far the hell away from you. Aceamundo. Yes I still get the little twinge of guilt when the (biodegradable) plastic bag goes in the wheelie bin, but I figure 15 month of clothy goodness is more than most manage, so I’m not going to beat myself up too much.

Anyway. I’m waffling.

In keeping with my new (guilty) love of Kai’s disposable-clad bee-hind, Sleep is for the Weak is taking part in a little Treasure Hunt run by the Huggies’ blog Enjoy the Ride. For the first 14 days of December they’re posting a clue to lead you to a parenting website or blog. Solve the clue and find Winnie the Pooh’s honeypot and you get given the chance to win one of 7000 prizes from free samples to a family break at Disneyland Paris.

Check out the Discovery Hunt webpage to find out how to play. All the clues so far are up for you to solve, with a new one everyday, and if you play along you may just find yourself back here in a day or two…

Writing Workshop: The Fry that Flew

Posted by Josie on Dec 1, 2009 in Writing Workshop | 27 comments

Welcome back to the Wednesday Writing Workshop link-up! At the bottom of this post you’ll find the widget to post the link to your workshop posts. We’ve got lots of new contributors taking part this week – should be a good one!

But first, I guess it’s my turn.

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No time no time no time. Damn me and my inability to say no to any opportunity or switch off to any new idea. I should be starting to write the short story I have due in just after Christmas. But things keep cropping up. Fun things, exciting things, potential filled things. And ooh look I’ve done another 4 hours work today and no story… oops.

So I’m going to be good and keep it brief. And tell you about a dream I had last week. It was one of those dreams you just didn’t want to wake up from, it was THAT good.

You see, I was one half of a elite crime fighting duo, the other half of which was… Stephen Fry. He could fly people, the Fry could FLY! I, on the other hand, seemed to have no such exciting abilities, but my company (in a pink fluffy cat costume) seemed to be the calming influence in his life that he needed to carry out his super hero tasks without mental breakdown.

Most of the dream consisted of me curled up under a chair as Stephen did an interview, and then playing duets with him on the piano in a huge house (which was actually a shopping centre) jam packed full of people. Despite my reluctance to start thinking about Christmas, it WAS Christmas, with a huge 30ft tree in one corner and twinkly lights. We sang carols and all swayed like some kind of ‘It’s A Small World’ diorama. And then Stephen flew away… to save some animals or something I don’t know. I think I shed some tears as I banged out Oh Little Town of Bethlehem. It was all quite moving…

Now. I would like you to analyse. Get your Freudian hats on (or Jungian if that’s more your flavour) and tell me…

What the hell does this MEAN??!!

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So now it’s your turn! What prompt did you choose?

1. Write a letter to your 16-year-old self
- Inspired by NotSupermum’s beautiful and touching post this week

2.What’s your guilty pleasure?
- Suggested by Leslieanne at Life with a Little Dude

3. Write about a dream you’ve had recently
- Inspired by Tim at Bringing Up Charlie and his bizarre dream of bloggers invading his living space!

4. I want to know your claim to fame (lame or otherwise)
- Inspired by Brits in Bosnia who is achieving some notoriety in her little town.

5. What do you do or where do you go to escape the stresses of every-day life?
- Inspired by ME! and my urban sanctuary this week.

If you haven’t had chance to respond yet, then you’ve still got today! Or just wait till next week, when there’ll be five brand new prompts to get you thinking.

This Writing Workshop is brought to you in association with Mama Kat’s Losin’ It – who’s lovely author came up with the concept and runs her own workshop over in the U.S.