Posts Tagged "crisis of confidence"

Breaking into Freelance Writing

Posted by Josie on Nov 23, 2009 in Writing | 21 comments

For a while now I’ve been wondering whether there was a way I could start making some money from my writing talents attempts . Money is, quite frankly, in rather short supply and a little extra here and there would come in very handy. It was a very definite decision of ours that I would spend the first couple of years of Kai’s life at home with him while Ant went out to work, and one I am happy we made, but it is tough. Very tough.

Writing is what I love. It’s what I think about most of the time. It’s the thing that feels the most natural to me; the most right. When I am writing I finally feel like I’ve found my calling and my place in the world, that I have discovered my purpose. It’s exhilarating, addictive, and terrifying in that it seems to come with so much emotional investment. It’s only natural that I would want something I love so much to be able to earn me a living.

Increasingly I’m beginning to think that freelance journalism ISN’T for me: I don’t know whether I’ve got what it takes and fiction is my real dream, and where, I think, my particular skills lie, or, at least, I hope they will once I’ve practised a bit more.

But when lovely Linda from ‘You’ve Got You Hands Full’ contacted me telling me about a new column she was running on her blog offering freelance writing tips and asking if I had any questions to start the ball rolling, I immediately thought of about half a dozen. Because I know that there are lots of you that ARE keen to break in to freelance writing and that, like me, you find the whole field a little overwhelming and wouldn’t know where to start.

Linda has provided a wonderful advice-filled post in response to my (many) questions that offers a great insight into anyone thinking of trying to get some paid writing work. From Linda’s response it seems like the opportunities ARE out there, but only if you have the right skills to offer and know how to market yourself.

I’ll be honest, the more I learn about the freelance writing market, the smaller and more out of my depth I feel. I’m not sure I’m the kind of writer that would be good at networking, at selling yourself, at finding an angle. And that makes me wonder what kind of writer I am, or if, in fact, I am any kind of writer at all.

But these are my issues, not yours, and you may feel braver and more confident about making your forays into the field.

I’d really recommend you give Linda’s post a read and check out the advice she offers – as someone with a lot of experience in the field she is definitely a voice worth listening to.

Holy Crap

Posted by Josie on Oct 23, 2009 in Creative Writing, Writing | 7 comments

I sat down to do some study tonight.

Text books opened, pen dutifully poised. I worked out my study plan for the weak – writing exercises, reading and an assignment to do by the end of the week. Not a difficult one, but still… going to require some effort. And some time. This week’s focus has been on sensory perception, observational writing and being inspired by the everyday – developing the regular, often mundane but persistent habit of writing, writing, writing. About everything you see and feel and taste and hear. Building up a store house of images and metaphors and observations to draw on in your more formal writing endeavours.

And as I was reading and thinking I had a Holy Crap moment. It went like this:

“Holy Crap. If I want to be a writer I’m going to have to fricking well write aren’t I.”

and then

“I mean (holy crap) that I’m going to have to develop a lifestyle of writing. Of having a pen surgically attached to my fingers and scribbling my flawless and whimsical observations of life, it’s people and all it’s many colours and flavours at every given opportunity”.

and then

“How the Holy Crap am I supposed to do that with Kai???! He doesn’t even let me do a wee in peace!”

There then proceeded a period of general wailing and “Holy Crap”s and “I’m never going to be good enough”s which I won’t bore you with…

But the point stands. I am going to have to write aren’t I? Or at least, write more.

I am not ashamed to admit it. There is a teeny (ok, not so teeny) part of me that is so in love with the idea of writing, of filling notebook after notebook with long, sweeping prose, that I would happily wish for all the housework to disappear, for Kai to suddenly become completely self-sufficiant and start sleeping 12 hour stints, for Ant to not need me in any way shape or form and for the rest of my friends and family to make no demands on whatsoever. Ever again. Just so I can write. Write with no constraints and no obstacles.

I imagine that that must be what ‘real’ writers lives must be like.

Which is stupid. Obviously.

Because writer’s are people. With lives and responsibilities and a demanding toddlers who spend most of their day either posting things, or trying to insert themselves, through the cat flap and screaming loudly and persistently when you refuse to hold them up to play the ‘light switch game’ for the millionth time that day (On! Off! On! Off!). At least, I assume ‘real’ writers have all these things to contend with… or some of them in any case.

Writer’s must have other jobs and families and small kitchens that are impossible to clean. And they still manage to write somehow, and, more importantly, to have successful writing careers.

So I’m just going to have to find a way. A way to free up more time and space for committing to the one thing that finally feels completely right to me, and is what I KNOW I need to be doing right now. I think it’s going to take some compromise and so creative thinking (and possibly some kind of Dictaphone) but dammit I am going to figure this out.

I have to.

Footnote: I was watching Tim Minchin in between writing this post. He seemed like an appropriate Holy Crap image. Love you Tim.

What’s your angle?

Posted by Josie on Oct 22, 2009 in Writing | 49 comments

Well this is all very exciting – my first post on my spangly new laptop! (yes, I know spangly isn’t a word but it should be and I’m a writer now so can make up new ones whenever I like…)

I NEVER get new toys so this is a bit of a treat. Me and the husband have been having a bit of an issue over laptop usage – since most of my evenings are now spent doing one bit of writing or another, the poor love doesn’t get a look in, looking at movie geek sites or whatever the hell it is he does (most likely playing Football Manager – ahem. Did I mention he was 31 in a couple of weeks?) . Despite the fact that he’s been his usual exceedingly patient and understanding self and not uttered one word of a moan about me forever tap tapping away, it does seem a bit unfair. So when I got some grant money through from the OU we decided to get me a ‘work’ laptop. Partly as a kind of investment in this writing adventure I think. I kind of  ’I can do it (because I have a spangly new laptop)’ self-belief present.

In fact, in honour of my new self-belief ‘I can do it’ laptop I am going to make a promise…

I am going to write my first book on this baby. Oh yes I am.

I have no idea what about yet, but that’s a minor point…

Anyway. That’s not what this post is about. Well, it’s kind of what the post is about but only in a very long winded god-are-you-ever-going-to-get-to-the-point kind of way.

I shall get to the point.

The other day sweetie pie Karin at Cafe Bebe wrote about having a blogging confidence crisis – wondering why she was blogging, what did it all mean, whether it was it worth it, worrying that she wasn’t popular, and so on. Now, I think we’ve all been there. In fact, those that know me will know it’s a regular occurrence for me (having had to be dissuaded from deleting half my blog posts just the other day). Blogger’s Wobble is soon going to have to recognised as a certifiable mental affliction amongst the blogging community.

Obviously we all (recognising the symptoms) jumped to Karin’s reassurance that she was doing just fine, to forget the stats and get back to blogging basics – doing it cause you love and it and have something to say.

But some of the (very helpful) comments got me thinking. They echoed what I have heard said time after time about blogging – the importance of voice. Of having a unique personality and selling point for your blog, that ultimately THAT is what makes a blog successful and stand out from it’s ‘competitors’ (and I use that word loosely as that’s SO not what blogging should be about).

Now generally I do OK at keeping the Blogger’s Wobble at bay. I don’t spend TOO much time thinking about stats and ratings, only occasionally stressing over silly things like why I haven’t got many subscribers when I get lots of hits (*sob*). Mostly I’m just so in love with the whole thing that I don’t really stop to think about it.

But this thing about voice, that really struck a cord. You see, the ‘popularity’ thing I can let go, but I do really, really want to stand out from the crowd in terms of most definitely not being ‘just another mummy blog’ and instead having something different and interesting to say. And what I love is that I think I’m finding mine. It’s taken a while to evolve but I’m beginning to get the sense that this blog has a ‘something’ that is mine and unique to me.

So. Here’s my angle.

I am a mummy. I am an aspiring writer. I find motherhood hard and I am honest about that. I blog because I love to connect and to write and play with words and thoughts and ideas.

What’s your angle? Or what would you like it to be?

Or if you don’t know, maybe you should think about it? WHY do you blog? What do you hope to achieve?

I’d really love to know x