The Gallery: Joy

I feel like I am being given new lessons in joy lately.

I am learning with toddlerhood that emotions never run very deep below the surface. Yes, on the one hand that means times when frustration and anger bubble over like pressure cooker of noise and steam and energy, and yet, in others, many, many more, it means the pleasure of witnessing the raw joy that lights up Kai’s face as something catches his interest and delight.

For Kai, my often serious boy, this does not always manifest in the same way. There are the sudden flashes of laughter, bright eyes, bright smiles, but there are equally the times when joy pulls at him in a different way. As something he loves grabs his attention, it pulls him under, consuming his focus and every ounce of his concentration. His nose wrinkles, his forehead furrows – anyone would think he was showing worry or anxiety in that little face. But I have leant that this is Kai’s joy too – his simple pleasure of being completely in the moment and open to every sense and sound that comes with it. He has to concentrate, he doesn’t want to miss a second.

I live for these moments right now.

I am someone, like Kai, for whom emotions are transient things, never held on to for long, often rushing past me with a force that means I don’t always get time to process them.

Kai is teaching me that that is ok.

You embrace the moment. When tears come you give into them with your whole being. When anger shakes you, you rage and stamp. And when a sudden rush of joy takes hold, you hold it there. Even if it is just for one, pure, golden moment before the day-to-day humdrum takes over.

You just be.

And in that moment, you are whole, and perfect, and life is good.

This post was written for week 7 of Tara Cain’s fabulous Gallery.

The theme this week was Joy.

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