Portrait of an Insecure Blogger

CJ

You are my shining light sweetie – I think you're legend and this post confirms it. I'm so glad other people feel like that too and it isn't just me!

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http://newdaynewlesson.wordpress.com/ Susie @ Newdaynewlesson

LOL-you are too funny. Too funny to see how talented and liked you are. But we all like to be liked-that is human nature-always yearning for more attention and approval. It will always be like that-no mater what you get to, we always want more.

You're great and talented and I hope one day you will make a living doing what you love and have all the respect you deserve.

Hugs!

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potentialmummyb

Abso-flippin-lutely! I have to read and re-read my posts so many times before I'll hit the publish button. And then, when I do, I have to view the post to make sure it looks OK, reads OK, says what I hoped it would say… Why does this blogging malarkey make us so nervous! Anyway, count me in for the wobble! I'm right there with you x

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richardmaun

Like your honesty and pace. I always read and re-read my blog posts. People like personal stuff; it's what separates the interesting blogs from the ones that are just a rehash of the the news of or banal chunks of received wisdom. Keep writing and we all wobble sometimes (I did after 10,000 words of my ms), but talent will always pull us through. Good stuff!

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http://blogupnorth.blog.co.uk/ Him Up North

OMG. I can relate to all that you've written! I tell my self my blog is a thing I do for myself and not a way to validate, but still I'm neurotic about site hits and comments. It's the nature of the game. We expose ourselves, perhaps to an uncomfortable degree, when we publish what we write. It's bittersweet. Ho hum.
Great post.

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utterlyscrummy

You are fantastic! Finally someone has been able to articulate how I feel. Thank you so much, it feels good to know others feel the same. Love your blog, always read it (I subscribe) but don't always have time to comment, but always want to. Keep up the excellent blogging and know that you have made my day. Hugs!

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http://deerbaby.blogspot.com/ Deer Baby

Oh yes. that's me alright. I wonder why I do it – is it for validation? People who I'd like to comment, don't. Sometimes I leave a comment on theirs and then want to delete it – I did that this morning. It sounded so trite. When I get compliments, I find them hard to take.

It's usually a matter of lack of time. I really wanted to comment on your post yesterday about Kai and paying attention but ran out of time. Although I did read it. This morning I left my 2 year old by herself to catch up on some posts and when I came back in the room she'd scribbled all over the coffee table. I couldn't be angry. I'd left the pen in reach and left her alone. Bad mummy. I'm only one now 'cos she's napping.

I culled a whole load of people off twitter the other week. It was just getting too much. I saw you were going to do that with blogs. I know how you feel.

Thing is, like you I think, I just have to keep writing.

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Josie Reply:
March 17th, 2010 at 4:37 pm

That's the daftest thing isn't it? ALL THE TIME I get pulled away from commenting, or don't have time to keep up with someone's blog. It's not personal! So why does it feel like it when you're on the receiving end?!

Sometimes I wish all blogs could have a “Read. Loved It. Don''t have time to comment” button!

And yep. If it wasn't for the damn writing I'd be long gone. But I can't seem to stop.

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http://twitter.com/kitschycoo kitschycoo

I'd like to join this club. If you'd have me, I mean. You probably don't think I meet the criteria. Or would only let me join out of pity. Maybe I should re-write this comment? I'm not being very articulate. Shit.

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http://twitter.com/tattooed_mummy tattooed_mummy

hahaha! I feel just the same, but I do belong to the 'all comments are good comments' school of thought – even if people hate my blog at least they read it! apathy or ignoring it are far far worse.

For the record, I love your blog, and some times I feel sorry for you, but not enough that I'd write something nice on your blog!! {evil grin} more a sort of sympathetic nod in your direction, along the lines of “poor cow, what a day!”

Thanks for the writing workshops too, they are really great and help me keep blogging.

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http://www.stickyfingers1.blogspot.com/ Tara@Sticky Fingers

It's like being back at school isn't it?!
And the funny thing is, if people compliment you, I bet you get all embarrassed!

I don't know if it's an age thing or the fact that I worked in newsrooms where you had to have thick skin, but I don't feel I can be in your club.
I'd say mostly I don't care. Of course I do care from time to time, but then think 'actually, I'm not that bothered' and go back to not caring again!

I do care when people I like and admire have wobbles and I don't think they have any reason to . . .
But that's why we have friends to ensure that at those times we have a warm blanket of support around us.
And now I'm going to make a cup of tea and go tell a bunch of people how fab you are just to make you feel better (and possibly embarrass you) x

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Josie Reply:
March 17th, 2010 at 4:47 pm

I do get embarrassed. Basically you can't win. You all ignore me I get hurt and upset, you pay me too much attention and I won't be able to handle it.

I told you I was hopeless right?

Really admire you being able to let this stuff go. I'm hoping I get better at that. Writing out all these stupid wobbles and realising how silly they are is a good start!

P.S. You are lovely. Thank you x

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Rachael Reply:
March 17th, 2010 at 10:34 pm

Tara, I’m with you.

Mind you, I’m blogging for a purpose right now, and only one aspect of me is revealed. There is a lot more to me than marathonmummy but I’m not brave enough to put it out there. That’s where my private journal comes in.

Josie, your writing is beautiful. One day when you’re published, I’m going to say proudly that I remember when you were a little bloglet.

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http://www.notsuchayummymummy.wordpress.com/ Emma @ Notsuchayummymummy

I wrote a big long comment but Disqus hates me, always has & deleted it. Sometimes that is why I don't comment! I'm technologically inept & can't work stuff.

Anyway the gist of it was – you care so much because it means so much to you. I don't care as much because my writing isn't so important to me. You are fab….what else? Oh yes, you need a serious injection of confidence girlie because you write beautifully, blog beautifully and make me wee laughing. And I think that's pretty amazing. xxx

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http://nappyvalleyhousewife.blogspot.com/ Nappy Valley Housewife

This is such a great post. Made me laugh and cringe (for myself, not you) at the same time. At least you get comments! Oh no, there I go, looking for my own validation. You're a wonderful writer and a pleasure to read.

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http://thecurseofthemoderndilemma.blogspot.com/ Modern Dilemma

Ha ha ha, you make me laugh Josie. I'm astounded you feel like this as you are such a fab blogger, but we all have insecurities. I feel just like you do at times and then try to tell myself, “Sod it, I blog for me, no-one else and to hell & back with them if they don't like it.” Though I confess that doesn't always work & I'd like a bit more of what Tara Sticky Fingers has please.

I'll join your gang.

MD xx

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http://sandycalico.blogspot.com/ Sandy Calico

Yep, me too – sometimes – but you have to focus on why you blog and decide whether you enjoy it. I do it because I enjoy writing and creating something that's mine, even though most of the time I feel like I'm still finding my way. I enjoy the friendships I've made, my life is richer for those connections and the support. The people that don't want to be friends with me really don't matter in the general scheme of things. I've had some free stuff, but that's a bonus and not why I blog. Spend your limited 'me' time doing what you want to do, just write, I'll read every single fabulous post xxx

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BNM

I want to join -because I do that all the time- there are so many posts on my blogger that I haven't published because I think why would anyone want to read that! And then when I do post I realise that there are speling mistakes in it! I can't seem to see them.
I think we all feel like that so we are gonna be one big gang!
BNMx

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http://battlingon.wordpress.com/ Peabee72

I think we all have bouts of this and, depending on how the rest of our life if behaving, it becomes a bigger or smaller issue. I blogged about my paranoia ages ago and the responses made me feel like it was good to bare my soul. You're writing is obviously so heartfelt and honest; your insecurity is natural and, although unnecessary, will be the thing that pushes you to constantly improve (although I'm wondering how that is even possible!).

Just don't always be so hard on yourself…. no one else is!

Px

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http://twitter.com/3bedroom 3bedroom

I try not to care. But I do. Put me on the list.

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http://shewasnotatalldomestic.blogspot.com/ mummy bear

Oh bejeez. Can I join your wobble club? Note to self…get a grip!

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Josie Reply:
March 17th, 2010 at 4:30 pm

Yep that was kind of my point. We DO need to get a grip! Not sure how though…

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Jordan

What a post. I decided i would start a blog last week, wrote my first post & by the end of the weekend, decided that it just wasn't for me. I wasn't good enough, noone would want to read it anyway etc etc.
I've still done nothing about it, but for you to write this – you, as someone who i see as an amazing blogger – yet, still feel like you do, i might just give it another go. Just maybe….

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Josie Reply:
March 17th, 2010 at 4:29 pm

You've just made my day right there. I think the secret is to realise that MOST of us feel like this, and then realise how silly it is, move past it and get bet to having some fun. Go for it chick – what have you got to lose?

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hadavis1966

I thought that last night when I pushed the publish button on my post! Then I woke up this am with a few great comments and it made me smile. And very few things normally can bring a smile to my face in the morning! Thing is I've been completely insecure since starting this whole blogging process over a month ago. But I keep saying to myself it's better than feeling safe all the time. Safe can be boring. You are putting yourself out there and even if only one person reads it and gets something from it then in my book it's worth it. The important thing is to not get too caught up in the “frenzy” of it all. Acceptance always comes in the strangest of places and just when you weren't looking for it. That's how it tends to work in my experience of things. Twitter is a funny “place” and yes it feels like everyone wants to be noticed. And it's easy to get caught up in the banter. I like checking out different blogs and communicating with people that way. When I get a really amazing comment it really touches me. I feel like it's all worth it. So don't be afraid to comment.
God hope this comment makes sense…..hee hee

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http://www.crystaljigsaw.blogspot.com/ Crystal Jigsaw

That first comment isn't me btw!! But you have summed up feelings very well today. I feel like a pillock for publishing yet another paranormal post that nobody wants to read. I get lots of lovely comments and I'm happy for each and every one, but I just wish sometimes, that people would find something to say when I post paranormal stuff. Hecky Thump. I'm ranting. Sorry.
Great post btw.
CJ xx

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Lisa Hall

One thing you are for sure is braver than me. I've had an account with blogger since July 2009 (just checked!) but, as yet I haven't written a single blog. The fact that you, and so many others do, is a daily feat of bravery – keep it up. Since being on twitter I have been tempted to go visit my sleeping blogger account, am almost thinking of making my first blog my letter to the man at sainsburys, the one which starts 'Dear Sir, I am writing this to you in my pants'. Hmmm then again, maybe not! xx

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Josie Reply:
March 17th, 2010 at 4:24 pm

That sounds like a GREAT first post. Go for it! Despite all our silly wobbling, it IS worth it. I promise

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http://www.andthenallithoughtaboutyou.wordpress.com/ Kerry

I am with you, and I want to join your club. I always think my stuff is rubbish and always always think my comments are rubbish. Why do we think that though?
Your post is lovely as per usual
Kerry xx

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bumbling

I'm in!

But I can't compete with the rest of these comments so I'll leave it there

Oh, and I guess I better try and get over it and update my blog already… Or maybe I'll stay conflicted and never click publish!

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http://isthereaplanb.blogspot.com/ planb

Can I be in? (worries that she'll be rejected….)

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http://twitter.com/susankmann Susan Mann

I do that all the time, I swither whether to post or not. I think all my stuff sounds rubbish but your's is great. x

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debcarrots

Er…I'm with Tara. I have to say that I don't give it a thought whether people will like it or not. Could be age or maybe because I'm getting bolshier and grumpier. Doesn't mean I think what I do is fab, just I'm not bothered if others think it's rubbish.

Whether you blog because you want fame and fortune or a book deal or just to be creative or to keep family updated or whatever, you won't go far wrong if it's authentic. Authenticity is all.

Deb(@carrotsandkids <- added that bit in case it came up as anyonymous, not logged into disqus I don't think).

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Josie Reply:
March 17th, 2010 at 4:22 pm

I absolutely agree about the authenticity thing. It's why I wrote this post actually. I could pretend that I don't care, and that I'm able to rise above it all (which I wish I could) but it would be complete bullcrap. I DO care, so I may as well be honest about that, especially as I know so many other people feel the same. If I am nothing else as a blogger I hope I am authentic – it's what I strive for above everything else.

But this post is more a kind of 'let's get it out and move past it' type of confessional cause actually I'm sick of this kind of thing dragging us all down.

It's definitely not supposed to be like this! We're adults and not in silly high school any more. I just wonder why we feel it?

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http://rosiescribble.typepad.com/ Rosie Scribble

Oh, I'm on that list, as you know. All these comments confirm how popular you are. Your blog is fabulous. You write wonderfully which is why so many people are inspired by your writing workshop. I think you are having a moment (or two) of insecurity like I was having at the beginning of the week. It seems that many of us do. I think we just need to carry on and ride the wave. I'm certainly going to keep going although blogging needs to be less important in my life. I find it hard to comment on all the blogs that are out there now (and I have a six year old reading this over my shoulder right now), but I certainly read the blogs I enjoy, and you're in my Google reader so that includes you. xxx

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http://babyrambles.blogspot.com/ Emily O

How did my thoughts download into your brain and through your keyboard? I feel EXACTLY the same. I try desperately not to care because I've got too much other stuff to think about. But unfortunately I do, I'm glad I'm not alone! And even if I'm happy with blogging for a day I think “oh dear, tomorrow it might go tits up.” I think blogging and insecurity go hand in hand.

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