Comments on: Balance

By: Muddling Along Mummy

Muddling Along Mummy — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 19:36:32 +0000

I hate that there is this horrid situation – if you aren’t going into a bog standard job you are caught between not having enough money to pay for childcare and not having enough childcare to work to earn the money … hope you find a balance
.-= Muddling Along Mummy´s last blog ..Flipping marvellous pancakes =-.

By: Kerry

Kerry — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 01:12:11 +0000

Totally understand you with this one and wont bog your comments down with everything I have to say.

I have the same issue with childcare as we cant afford it either, but this is how we got round it. Grandparents, my mum has Baba one day and mother in law has Baba another day. Now it isn’t for all day sometimes it is only for a couple of hours, but sometimes it is all day depending on what I have to do. As run my own business at home, and am also doing a writing course. But it is so much help and to be honest I don’t have to worry about him being there, and he has such a close relationship with them which is a win win situation. Just an idea!

By: slugs on the refrigerator

slugs on the refrigerator — Thu, 14 Jan 2010 18:20:37 +0000

Josie-
What a lovely post. LIke so many others have said, striving for balance is necessary, but finding it is hard. If you figure it all out can you let me know?

and you are one of my favourites too!!

By: Mummy Mania

Mummy Mania — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 19:33:23 +0000

I really feel your pain – as so many of us obviously do! It is a balance like you say, and a real tightrope walk. There’ll be good days and bad, and all we can do is write what we can in the good, and not get too bad tempered in the bad (this is my theory anyway!). You will get through this though – the day will come when you have some space (I’m not there yet either)…. keep strong!
.-= Mummy Mania´s last blog ..My history of feminism =-.

By: Josie

Josie — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 14:33:03 +0000

Thank you enormously for your comments on this post. Each one of you has given me a great deal to think on and provided a much needed insight.

Will blog about my thoughts soon, apologies that I don’t have time to reply to you individually (rather apt huh?!) but have read all of your comments over and over and really appreciate the time you took to stop by.

Much love xxxxx

By: Mwa

Mwa — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 10:13:49 +0000

That’s the toughest question of them all. I’m lucky that we can afford two child care days a week. I’m not sure I’d stay sane without. Can you get some relatives to take Kai on a regular basis? As for stimulating my mind – at the moment, I try to be content with just blogging and choir. Until further notice. It all just seems impossible sometimes, doesn’t it? Just don’t stop looking for solutions that work for you. Oh – and I love date night. It might be worth paying some extra attention to your relationship. As if you don’t have enough on your plate. You did ask.
.-= Mwa´s last blog ..I’m all over the place today =-.

By: Erica

Erica — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 09:30:26 +0000

A couple of years ago I was exactly where you are now, full of ambition but with a full-time job as stay at home mum.

I’ve gradually increased the time I spend on my projects. At first I would spend time doing stuff during naps and after bedtime. Then she started going to playgroup, just a couple of hours three times a week. Then you get your free five afternoons and mornings – where we’re at now. Before long she’ll be at school and I’ll have five days a week to pursue my own projects (not to mention the rest of my life!)

It gets easier, you just need to accept that it will happen gradually, you can’t fight it. Also, don’t wish it away either, just make the most of Kai this age, it’ll soon be gone (that’s what other keep telling me!)

By: Paula

Paula — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 00:50:21 +0000

I certainly don’t have the answers Josie, but I do understand your frustrations.

The one thing that the midwives don’t tell you is to bring an extra suitcase to the hospital to take away the burden of guilt that you will be forever carrying post partum. That guilt is parasitic, it takes root deep inside you and grows with each subsequent birth (3 for me), shooting up exponentially as they grow and develop reasonable and unreasonable wants and needs of their own.

Without going on (and on and on)the only advice I could possibly offer is to congratulate yourself on every achievement and to cherish the here and now. I know that sounds really crap but I also know that it’s only when something really shitty happens that you realise just how good it all was before…

Px
.-= Paula´s last blog ..breaking the rules…. =-.

By: Amber

Amber — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 22:07:24 +0000

I think that perfect balance is impossible, if only because it is a moving target. Even if you actually got it all figured out today it would be different tomorrow, you know? Kids are fun that way.

I think that young toddlers are the most time-consuming children. They don’t sleep that much, and they don’t really play independently. And even if they DO play independently, it’s a recipe for disaster. You’re in the worst of it now, and it will get better. So don’t beat yourself up too much if you’re not as productive as you could hope to be.
.-= Amber´s last blog ..(Lack of) Educational Philosophy =-.

By: Kelly

Kelly — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 20:15:08 +0000

If I know you Josie, something will happen, be it an idea or a way of changing things round to make it work. Could you afford just one morning of childcare as a start?

Spend a little time every day daydreaming about what your life would be like if you have the resources to have the life that you want and you may find the answer, or at least be open to spotting opportunities to help you.
.-= Kelly´s last blog ..Come out, come out, whoever you are! =-.