Daily Life Happy Times Motherhood: anxieties change early morning walk Happy Yule hope new dawn peace Photography sleeping through the night sunrise Thoughts turning a corner Winter Solstice
by Josie
16 comments
New Dawn
This morning, I put on half my wardrobe and went out while it was still dark to watch the Solstice sun rise. I left the boys safe and warm and wandered, alone but with a head full of thoughts for company, to my quiet nature sanctuary.
There was a spring in my step as I walked on pavements, glittering with quartz, avoiding frozen puddles and leaving deep footprints in the hard frost. Because last night, on the longest night, I got MY longest night for 18 months.
Kai slept. At last. He slept. And so did I.
Waking up briefly at 10pm, he settled holding my hand and then I didn’t hear from him again until 6am. When I went in to him, all tousled and wrinkled from his long sleep, he smiled me a smile that told me he knew he’d done an important thing. And with a excited hug and a frantic tug towards our bedroom he was eager to snuggle up with me and his dad and have his first, long and happy feed since before he’d gone to bed. By Jove, I think he’s got it.
It may not be repeated tonight, in fact I expect not, but that’s ok. We’ve turned a corner here, I can feel it. And the hope for better nights, and finally some refreshing sleep, has never been stronger.
And so, with the energy that comes only from a decent stretch of sleep, I walked this morning. For over an hour I sought out the sun from its hiding place and watched as it rose, glowing and golden from the horizon. I watched the light change, touching the icy marshes, and the world transform.
I thought a lot. About the last 18 months, about the next year ahead. About my hopes and my anxieties and my confusion sometimes about why on earth I am here and what the hell I’m supposed to be doing. I didn’t find answers, but as the geese flew across the grapefruit sky in a perfect V, I too found some peace.
A new day has dawned.
Happy Yule everyone x
Related posts:
- Just when I thought I was going to lose my mind… Ten ways in which the Universe was kind to me...
- Yo Mama Well you can’t knock Kai for his ability to keep...
- What a difference a night makes A couple of weeks ago I blogged about a night...
I too saw in the solstice sunrise this morning, but mine was due to pain and lack of sleep rather than the magical event of sleep.
I remember the feeling of sleep and also remeber the first night we had of sleep for the two of them.
It is a momentous occasion. Hopefully it will go on and on and on.
Good luck and well done
TheMadHouse´s last blog ..A Pause in Advent – Joy 
[Reply]
I’m so happy for you! I really hope that it continues. Enjoy your christmas and hopefully the good nights sleeps.
Foodie mummy´s last blog ..Recipe Friday Christmas special
[Reply]
Beautiful photos, thank you
And here’s to more full nights of sleep xx
Weston-super-Mum´s last blog ..Never too cold for a picnic
[Reply]
That’s fantastic hun! Now he’s done it once, with patience and gentle encouragement he’ll eventually learn to keep doing it. Well done to all of you. x
Ellen´s last blog ..Winter survival for beginners
[Reply]
Sometimes it takes some sleep and time out to make things right again!
You sound really positive and I love your photos.
[Reply]
congratulations! It may not be all plain sailing form now on but it certainly sounds like you have turned that corner!
Heather´s last blog ..The Dark Place
[Reply]
I am so so happy for you. I am wishing you more of the same tonight.
[Reply]
Beautiful. Congratulations. May more sleep find you tonight and the night after that.
Thank you for the photos 
april´s last blog ..Blog Interrupted- Music and Lyrics…
[Reply]
Oh Josie i am thrilled for you! And those pictures are absolutely gorgeous!
Fingers crossed the Kai bear sleeps well tonight =)
Kelly´s last blog ..I Never Thought…
[Reply]
I’m so glad for you! The whole sleep thing is such a devastating load but the first long sleep really is like a new dawn. How appropriate you made it out, after the first full night to the first new morning of the true new year.
(As usual, I didn’t. Oh well. Maybe next year.)
Dad Who Writes´s last blog ..Odin and Loki and the theft of Odin’s treasure
[Reply]
What a lovely thing to do. Fresh air to cleanse body and soul and the photographs are beautiful.
Merry Christmas to you all x
SandyCalico´s last blog ..Last Post (Before Christmas)!
[Reply]
ok, back again, i read your other post first.
wow. great.
ironically, i didn’t want to say this in the last comment, but louis too slept last night!!!! until 645am. we’re now staying at my Mum’s so he’s in a strange bed so we’re probably in for hell, but, like you say, it’s just having cause for some hope that makes all the difference. i know we’ve turned a corner, even though just this week we’ve had some shocking nights….
keep updating. i’ll keep checking back. (and i need to write another, more positive post about sleep soon….)
babieswhobrunch´s last blog ..More tree-ditions
[Reply]
Beautiful…. full of hope without expectation: perfect
[Reply]
And this is for you – a suitable Blog award for such a post I believe http://wp.me/pF4hl-5i
april´s last blog ..for @porridgebrain who loves toast and deserves this..
[Reply]
OMG! That’s such good news. I am so happy for you, Josie, well done!
Have a Merry Christmas you too.
Metropolitan Mum´s last blog ..Malnourished Monday #6 – the Christmas break
[Reply]