A hell of a set of balls (in more ways than one)
Posted by Josie on Oct 6, 2009 in Uncategorized | 22 comments
There’s been a lot of talk this week in the virtual world about the ‘Mumpreneur’ – women successfully combining at-home businesses with raising children and family life. I’m not all that comfortable with the label myself, something that Sally at Who’s The Mummy? also questioned recently sparking an interesting debate. It’s not even one that particularly applies to me as I don’t run my own business. But lately I feel I am beginning to move into the realm of the ‘Work-at-Home-Mum’ and issues surrounding women, business and enterprise are likely to be ones that effect me for some time to come.
My creative writing course has started in earnest now. I have turned into that fledgling writer with a notebook and pen surgically attached, lying awake in the small hours consumed by ideas and endlessly spiralling words and images, plagued by feelings of hope and potential and doubt and worthlessness all in equal measure.
At the same time I’m trying to expand my ‘freebie’ work, getting writing experience here, there and everywhere I can. This blog is becoming more than just a pet project, it’s becoming something that matters to me, something I feel the need to invest time and effort in, with the hope that it may springboard my writing somewhere new and exciting. The Great Toy Guide is keeping me busy too which I love, opening up a whole new world of PR contacts and confusing media lingo and a different kind of creative thinking.
The irony is that none of this is paid of course. Perhaps I’m over-reaching myself even calling it work, probably ‘work’ would be more descriptive and less pretentious. But my hope is that by putting the ‘work’ in I may one day get some work without the inverted commas, probably not anytime soon, but one day.
I’m coming across like a complete douche aren’t I? I did have a point somewhere.
Oh yes. Here it is…
I had been under the extremely naive and mistaken impression that working from home would be easier than going out to work. That combining a working day with taking care of your children would be simpler, most cost effective, and magically combine the two worlds of motherhood and career woman in one beautifully harmonious enterprise.
You’re laughing right. At least, the WAHM’s are laughing…
Turns out the reality is a little different.
My days and nights at the moment are left frantically juggling Kai’s (demanding) needs and my own desperate need to write and grow in a direction other than being ‘just a mum’ (oh and with the odd cursory bit of housework thrown in for good measure). When I’m doing my ‘mum’ bit I’m thinking about writing. When I’m writing I’m feeling guilty about not giving Kai my 100% one-on-one attention. I can’t win. Oh and of course – add into the mix being so sleep deprived I can barely remember my own name and you’ll probably have a fairly accurate picture of my state of mind right now.
Lately I’ve even wondered whether Kai would even be better off in nursery for a few hours a week, that maybe I’m depriving him of enough stimulation and attention, that maybe being at home with me ISN’T the best thing for him as I had always thought it would be. But of course (it’s the ironic bit again), I’m not earning anything and we don’t bring enough in as a family to make it an affordable option.
So here I am. Desperately trying to keep all these different conflicting balls in the air. And not managing it very successfully (the ‘hoovering’ ball I dropped a while back and seems to be festering in amongst the dust bunnies under the TV cabinet).
All of which is my rather long-winded way of saying this. Mumpreneurs, entrepreneurs, work-at-home mums/dads , self-employed writers, artists, craftspeople – what EVER you choose to call yourselves. I salute you. And admire you immensely. I am only beginning to realise how hard your working lives must be – and I’m still only ‘working’ at working.
Please tell me. How on earth do you do it?
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http://insomniacmummy.com
I’d never heard the term Mumpreneur ’til I stared Tweeting. I’m not one either. Wouldn’t have the first clue about how to start a business or what business to start for that matter.
Would love to make a few pennies from writing one day but that’s another thing I haven’t got the foggiest about. I’d look into a writing course but know our finances wouldn’t stretch. Sigh. Sob.
That is my entirely useless contribution for the day.
Over and out.
.-= Insomniac Mummy´s last blog ..I watch him grow….. =-.[Reply]
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http://mwaonline.blogspot.com
I completely agree with you that it must be really tough. When I was teaching, I ended up doing most of my preparation when my son was in bed.
I think there is a lot to be said for creches and the like. I send my daughter to a creche twice a week and have done ever since she was six months old. I think it’s socializing her (she needs the interaction with the other children) and it teaches her that she can cope when she’s not with me. We both love it.
I would recommend to any parent who works, at home or not, to get a little bit of time off from the kids. I feel it also gives my kids a little time off from me. (That all makes me sound so horrible – I’m very close with my kids, honest. I’m just also for teaching them some independence.)
.-= Mwa´s last blog ..Dirty little secret =-.[Reply]
Sheena Woods Reply:
October 6th, 2009 at 6:34 pm@Mwa, I totally agree with you, I spend all my time with my little girl, and have not been away to go and relax, and it’s been 10 months, with working in the evenings too for my business, it’s tough… um… perhaps I should try out the creche idea…
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http://cavemother.blogspot.com
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http://www.mummymania.blogspot.com
aha! at last someone has given me a name! a Work-at-home-mum. I love it. although i don;t love the hours. i;ve resorted to getting up at 5.30 (yes, that’s AM) to do some writing before i embark on my 12 hour day with the girls, followed by cooking dinner and saying hello to my hubby before either doing some writing (the vaguely paid stuff) or collapsing on the sofa. and i never feel i get it right. but then i doubt mums who go out to work do either. anyway, i hear you, i feel your pain…… but would we swap a moment of it?? (ok yes, like you i wish i earnt enough to actually get a couple of mornings off…. but we can dream…).
.-= Alana Kirk-Gillham´s last blog ..Disaster days are often the best… =-.[Reply]
Josie Reply:
October 7th, 2009 at 11:38 am@Alana Kirk-Gillham, I think it would work better if I could get up earlier and get an hour in at the beginning of the day. But sleep is so precious in this house! Maybe once he’s sleeping better
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http://www.whosthemummy.co.uk
I hardly do any work at all.
After a leisurely breakfast (cooked, of course) I go to the gym for a Pilates class, then watch a bit of daytime TV before a lunch with friends.
Between 1 and 2pm I dash off a little article or two, then I go the cinema to catch an afternoon movie, while my child is in the late room at school.
At 5pm, I go and collect her, before collapsing into the sofa for a well-deserved glass of Pinot Grigio and five back-to-back episodes of Gossip Girl.
Or at least, that’s what my family imagines my working life is like…
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http://www.capitalmom.blogspot.com
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http://onehotcuppa.blogspot.com
I have done the WAHM thing on and off over the years. I admire anyone who makes it work for them. I find it an impossible balance and it makes me not only an unsuccessful business owner but also a worse mum than usual.
I would also love to write for a living and spend my evenings working on my latest series of children’s books. It keeps me occupied and keeps my brain active but I doubt it will ever bring in any money. I try to look at it as a hobby and something I do for enjoyment rather than a potential job because if it is work I may start tosee it as a chore, which would make it so much less appealing and another potential area of disappointment.
.-= Spiragirl´s last blog ..To Work or Not To Work =-.[Reply]
Josie Reply:
October 7th, 2009 at 11:40 am@Spiragirl, Your children’s books sound fab! You never know… stick with it!
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http://wahm-bam.blogspot.com
We only managed with the help of family, after the first six months, to be honest – and that’s with two of us working from home! When Rosemary was a baby, it was easier, as it was a case of working when she slept – I got up at 5am to feed her, then worked for 4 hours while she went back to sleep, then went out to the park or Costa Coffee to socialise, then did some more work during her afternoon nap, and sometimes some more in the evening, if she wasn’t guzzling. The first 6 months she was very much glued to me – feeding for most of the time she was awake, only coping for half hour snatches with Chris or my folks.
But after 6 months, we added in a couple of mornings where my mum came and looked after her in the living room and took her for a walk to the park, which gave me some dedicated time at my desk. Then when she was a year, she started going to my mum’s a few mornings a week.
Now, we do most of our work during office hours, while Rosemary’s at playgroup and nursery school, with a few hours in the evenings where necessary. We share everything equally, which makes it easier.
WAHMs and WAHDs who are on their own during the day and have no family to help out are absolutely amazing and deserve lots of praise.
And it’s all about to be turned upside down, when we have another new baby to deal with. Ask me again how I do it in a couple of months!
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http://www.worldofamummy.wordpress.com
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http://noblesavage.me.uk
I took my first WAH job when my son was two months old and my daughter was 2 1/2. Everyone thought I was crazy but it worked out rather well for the first several months. I’d often do my job with one hand while TNB slept on me or was busy nursing, or balanced him on a pillow and worked with both hands, over his head. It got a bit more difficult when he became mobile and my daughter stopped napping so I’ve had to rely on DVDs and CBeebies to get me through my deadline each day. So sue me, Earth Mother Association.
All in all, I work for about 1.5-2 hours a day and that’s just about all I can do. I don’t know how parents who are supposed to be working all day do it. My hats are off to all of us, working for pay or not! Any way you cut it, it’s difficult when children are involved.
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Josie Reply:
October 7th, 2009 at 8:51 pm@Noble Savage, I often look back on those early months and laugh at how little I appreciated all the free time! All those hours of sitting on my ass watching DVDs while I marathon nursed my milk monster. How I wish I’d made the most of it more!!
x
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http://childhood101.blogspot.com/
Josie Reply:
October 7th, 2009 at 11:36 am
@Insomniac Mummy, My OU course was completely funded – not cost me a penny. You should look into it! x
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