2009 October | Sleep is for the Weak

Writing Workshop: Birthday Love

Posted by Josie on Oct 28, 2009 in Me, Writing, Writing Workshop | 13 comments

Welcome back to the Wednesday Writing Workshop link-up! At the bottom of this post you’ll find the widget to post the link to your workshop posts. But first? Well I guess it’s my turn! I’ve chose prompt #5- tell us about your best friend. This was a completely orchestrated move on my part as I’ve had this post planned for a while and it gives me a good excuse to tell you about somebody very special who just may have had a birthday at the weekend… It’s horribly indulgent but I don’t care.

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My dear lovely bestest friend,

So here’s the thing. I couldn’t afford to buy you a very expensive present this year (I was thinking a pink sequined laptop case) and don’t get to see you to give you your real (humbler) present till Thursday so I thought I would send you a virtual outpouring of my undying love and adoration, and put it up here for all the world to see. Because it’s about time people knew what a very special best buddy I really have. I hope that’s ok…. (I’m taking your silence for yes).

Did you know that we have been best friends for over 20 years? That’s a long time. A LOT of memories. Here are just a few of my favourites…

We were about 8 or 9 I think and we were baking – and we somehow managed to spill an entire bottle of food colouring all over your mum’s very posh new tea towels. I have no idea where she was but we used every single cleaning ingredient in the cupboard under the sink to try and clean this tea towel. Including oven cleaner. How we are not dead left with some kind of permanent brain damage from the fumes of our concoction I will never know. Although on second thoughts… maybe that explains lot! Actually we didn’t have much luck with cakes did we? Do you remember those ones that we hid behind your brand new bedroom curtains in preparation for our midnight feast? The ones that melted in the sun and stained them? Your mum went ballistic!!

Upper school at Burton Manor. Sitting with you in Mrs Weaver’s class drawing cartoons about Fagin and Beaky, our two imaginary characters of the time. I think they had been inspired by Oliver Twist where Fagin is in his den with his pet owl – it had cracked us up for some reason. We had all sorts of stupid catchphrases for them and would work them into every conversation in between squeals of laughter, drawing little pictures of them in our projects and school work. I seem to remember Mrs Weaver giving us very stern looks…

And Ed Banger!! Why on earth did we call Mr Kite that? God we were so naughty in his class weren’t we – he pretty much let us run wild! I will never, ever forget that ‘future room’ project where we had to build a model of a room filled with all the things we imagined would be invented the future. We built an entire house! And it had a very complicated working plumbing system as I remember involving straws. Well, I say working… because we left the tank in the ‘attic’ full and overnight it leaked everywhere and stained the carpet. Bless him, Ed Banger still gave us an A+ didn’t he?

Carting our cello’s home to your Grandma’s house where she made us tea with tinned carrots and pudding with custard which I thought were delicious and way better than the food my mum cooked (sorry mum!) I remember going back to her house after our very first solo trip into town on the bus without grown-ups and ecstatically showing her our shopping purchases. Two lumberjacks style checked shirts that were about ten billion sizes too big, and two small matching stuffed dogs with tartan hats. We weren’t exactly fashionistas were we? And I was always horribly envious of your shell suit which you got from Kay’s catalogue (the epitome of posh in my eyes) – mine was a cheapo one from Penkridge Market and no where near as classy.

I think we’ll fast forward through all the bad boyfriends shall we? Suffice it to say we shared some pretty tough experiences in those early teen years. And as always you were there for me, always at the end of the phone or a quick bike ride away. The years pass and I get to watch you turn from the slightly gangly girl I remember so well into the beautiful, stylish, slightly more serious woman that you’ve become. You go away to Uni and come back again – something I will be forever grateful for because it’s then our friendship began all over again – this time with us as ‘grown-ups’ with houses of our own and new husbands and long-term boyfriends who seemed to be taking forever to propose and whole new set of worries and dreams.

Now we get to some really good ones. Finding out after so many months of disappointment that there was a teeny bean in your tummy – I don’t think I had ever been so excited in my entire life. My wedding dress fittings, trying to find you a dress that will accommodate your growing baby bump and then crying when we found one because you looked so beautiful. Being so insanely grateful to see you on the morning of my wedding day because I was so nervous and all the little hand squeezes and smiles that kept me going and helped make it the most perfect wedding day a girl could ever wish for. I love the fact that naughty lion was my secret third bridesmaid that day – tucked away in your teeny tiny bump! No one would have guessed you were nearly 6 months pregnant!

And then all the baby stuff. Oh my word have we talked a lot of baby stuff over the last 3 years!! Meeting your gorgeous monkey for the first time and wanting to scream because you instantly looked so thin and beautiful! And how, despite having done it all before me, you still made me feel, through every week of my pregnancy, like it was all a brand new experience and the most exciting thing to ever happen. ALWAYS being interested in every twinge and rumble and puke and complaint and worry. And telling me every time you saw me how lovely and not-fat and not-horribly pale from all the puking I looked.

Oh god – I could go on all night couldn’t I? How about me screaming and then hysterically sobbing in the office at work when you phoned to tell me about the surprise bean number 2? And every single second I’ve got to spend with you and the ratbag and the beanbag, watching them grow and develop attitudes to match our own!

I shall stop… because I could fill pages and pages.

And through all this? You my love. My beautiful, strong, patient, intelligent friend. Do you know people reading this, that not only does this woman put me to shame every time we meet, managing to look immaculate even if she’s had no sleep. Not ONLY has this woman had two babies in less than 18 months with horrendously difficult pregnancies both times, nursed sick husbands and battled insomnia… she’s also completed and honours degree, a masters and is now submitting PHD proposals. Oh and she bakes and her house is always clean (apart from the sofa). If she wasn’t so lovely we would hate her wouldn’t we?

You are my hero. My lemon bathroom cleaner sniffing, chocca mocca addict, wonderful best friend.

Happy Birthday.

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So now it’s your turn! What prompt did you choose?

1. Tell us about the most exciting place you’ve ever been too. Try and use all of your senses in your description: what you can see, hear, taste, touch…?
- Suggested by the very well travelled Victoria at It’s a Small World After All

2. Write a recipe for something abstract - i.e. a recipe for a good/bad day, recipe for a perfect Halloween, recipe for a happy mummy/daddy etc.
- Inspired by English Mum’s son’s… umm… unusual recipe for a witches brew this week! Oh, and by one I did ages ago…

3. Write an ‘article’ (and I use that term loosely) about a recent news item or something that you’ve made up, deliberately making it as sensationalist and ridiculus as you can.
- Inspired by the delightful Jan Moir and the Daily Mail in general (link not added – no need to give them more exposure…)

4. What did you want to be when you grew up? Or are you still deciding?!
- Inspired by Maternal Tales from the South Coast’s beautiful message from her daughter.

5. Tell us about your best friend. You can interpret this any way you like – doesn’t have to be a person!
- Inspired by me!

Leave your name and the URL to your post in the MckLinky below (the URL should be to your post not just to your blog) andleave me a comment to let me know you’ve taken part. If you have the time it would be great if you could try and read and comment on at least two other entries. And be kind! It’s supposed to be a bit of fun – we’re not looking for the next Booker Prize winner here!

If you haven’t had chance to respond yet, then you’ve still got today! Or just wait till next week, when there’ll be five brand new prompts to get you thinking.

This Writing Workshop is brought to you in association with Mama Kat’s Losin’ It – who’s lovely author came up with the concept and runs her own workshop over in the U.S.

A final 2p

Posted by Josie on Oct 28, 2009 in Uncategorized | 11 comments

There was a bit of an explosion yesterday amongst the Blogging Community and Twitterverse. Discussion about commercialism in blogging, about reviews and advertising, and about a competitive element to the whole business that seems to be springing up and leaving people feeling uncomfortable. I littered my two pennies worth in the comments of most of the various blogs in involved, in fact if you want to go and track them all down there would probably be enough to buy you a sandwich or something. I’m really hoping today we can move on to other things, and in a moment I’m going to post my usual Wednesday Writing workshop, but before I do I need to clarify some things.

1. Reviews. I love reviews. Hell, I deputy edit a toy review site, how could I not? But for THIS blog I’ve chosen not to include reviews. The reason? No moral superiority it’s just a matter of integrity and aesthetics. Firstly I think I’m just finding my rhythm here and am not the writing the sort of blog where reveiws would ‘fit’ – I think it would just interrupt the flow and muddy the waters. Second – so far I have only been offered pretty crap stuff to review on here. If I was to start reviewing every weird and wonderful pitch that got thrown at me my blog would loose it’s soul very fast. But if, one day in the future, I was offered something really pertinent to this blog or me and my family? I would review it. Of course I would. So no judgement from me.

2. Competition. Yes, I do feel that Blogging takes on a competitive edge sometimes. Too much preoccupation about what makes you look good and perceived status, the number of pitches you’re getting, or the number of exciting opportunities. And I don’t like the bitterness from those that don’t get these things and the sense of entitlement that they should. But. I don’t think there is anything wrong with being proud of your blog, of wanting to improve it or wanting to promote and increase the number of people that read it.

The answer to the competitive vibe isn’t some kind of insincere holier-than-thou attitude where you pretend not to care what anyone thinks. So yes, you will see me continue to plug posts and features, to talk with pride about my blog. But you will also see my comments continue to pop up across the Blogosphere, offering connection and support and encouragement to all of my fellow bloggers, no matter what their ranking or how ‘big’ their blog is.

And finally.

3. The Tots 100 Index. The index didn’t create the competitive spirit – bloggers did that. It’s intention was always about fun, about a way of finding new blogs to read, and a spirit of healthy competitiveness coupled with mutual encouragement. If people got a bit too obsessed with the figures then that was not the index’s fault. After all, it is voluntary and you could always opt out if it makes you feel uncomfortable.

There is also a person behind the index. A person who works extremely hard for no return. I can’t post a link to the index because, if you look, it’s not there anymore. I hope only temporarily. Because if that’s the only thing to come out of this debate I shall be very sad indeed.

Ok so that’s it. Moving on…

Stupid Search Terms

Posted by Josie on Oct 27, 2009 in Uncategorized | 31 comments

Very quick post for you today as I’m snowed under with various things this week. Actually, I was going to save this one for Thursday but I can’t wait till then – I need something to make me smile while I’m trying to get this stupid assignment finished tonight!

I always love hearing about all the weird and wonderful search terms that have lead people to your blog. I want you to pick the best few and leave them in the comments for us all to share…

My favourites from recently:

“why do I sleep on an angle?”

“gagging my sister”

“getting a set of balls”

“woman runner lobotomy”

…but I know these are rubbish in comparison to a lot of what you get!

So come on then? Check your stats and tell us your best ones!

Writing Prompts #3 – Exhilerating Adventures & Ridiculous Recipes

Posted by Josie on Oct 25, 2009 in Writing, Writing Prompts | 6 comments

It’s Monday morning, which means it’s time for Sleep is for the Weak’s Writing Workshop prompts! So grateful for all the feed-back so far, I’m really glad you’re getting into it. Twenty-Two brilliant entries last week!

So for all your newbies (and it’s never to late to join in), here’s how it works… I’m going to give you 5 writing/blogging prompts. Pick one, pick two, or do them all if you’re really keen – it’s up to you. How you respond is your choice. You could share a real-life story, or make one up. You could write a poem or just free write without thinking too hard and see what happens. It can be funny; it can be serious; it can be emotional. It can be whatever you want it to be. The only rule is to have fun with it!

Prompts each week will take their inspiration from blogs, current affairs, daily life, or just whatever everyone happened to be talking about that week. If you’d like to suggest a prompt then send me an email or catch me on Twitter – I would love to hear your ideas.

So here they are:

4. What did you want to be when you grew up? Or are you still deciding?!
- Inspired by Maternal Tales from the South Coast’s beautiful message from her daughter.

5. Tell us about your best friend. You can interpret this any way you like – doesn’t have to be a person!
- Inspired by me! Because that’s what I want to write about this week (and it’s my workshop so there!! – and no, it’s not about Clive…)

Now here’s what you have to do. Write your post and publish it on your blog between now and Wednesday. On Wednesday come back and use the widget that will be up to paste in the URL of your post to share. Then take some time to read some of the other entries and leave some comment love! We’re not here to critique – just to have fun and support each other in our writing experiments. So be kind please.

Anyone who would like to submit something via email, or even anonymously will be more than welcome to do so. I’ll post them on the site here and include the link in Wednesday’s round-up.

Feel free to use the Workshop badge on your blog or as part of your post if you like. Code is here:

Note: I’m told Blogger does something a bit funny with the code so you’ll need to copy and paste it and then retype the quotation marks (“) as Blogger changes them for some reason.

See you Wednesday then!

P.S. And if you fancy plugging this workshop on the social network of your choice? Then that would be fan-frickin-tastic.

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This Writing Workshop is brought to you in association with Mama Kat’s Losin’ It – who’s lovely author came up with the concept and runs her own workshop over in the U.S.