Yo Mama
Posted by Josie on Sep 30, 2009 in Uncategorized | 25 comments
Well you can’t knock Kai for his ability to keep me on my toes.
The night before last he broke all records sleeping the longest stretch of his ENTIRE LIFE!!! A whole six and half hours all in a row. And after he’d woken up, guzzled down his usual few gallons of milk and gone back to sleep he only woke up a further ONCE!!!!!!!
I’m not sure you’ve grasped the significance of this.
He woke up TWICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And yes, the exclamation marks totally justified. And YES I’m going to shout a lot in this post and DON’T CARE.
Because not only did he only wake up twice, he didn’t want to get up till 7am… AND… spent the whole night in his cot in his OWN ROOM.
Perhaps you’re wondering (like I did) whether someone secretly swapped out my genetically flawed Hyper-No-Sleep 5000 baby with a regular, normal, standard issue one.
But no, it was really Kai.
Do you know how I know?
Because of LAST night. Last night, after jubilantly celebrating all day that ‘This was IT baby!’ and that we’d really turned a corner, phoning all my friends and relatives and stopping random people in the street to grab them by their lapels and look with crazy frenzy into their frightened eyes and squeal “SIX AND A HALF HOURS!!”
Last night when I sauntered off to bed safe in the knowledge that I most likely had at least three hours before being woken up, and probably another three or four hour stretch after that.
Last night when Kai was awake all fricking night.
So no. Doesn’t look like that was IT baby. Looks like that was just a horrible cruel fluke.Quite possibly because Kai nearly knocked himself out on the skirting board that day and I had two rather large glasses of wine. Yep, nothing like a mild concussion and alcohol laced breast milk to guarantee some sleep.
And of course because I’d been treated to night of half-decent sleep the night before, a night of virtually no sleep hit me extra hard. And I was so tired this morning that… well… I’ll tell you how tired I was. EXACTLY how tired.
Because I’m starting a new thing. It’s called ‘This Mama so tired’.
It’s kinda like ‘Yo Mama so fat’ except better. And less horribly offensive. (And yes I know it’s not grammatically correct but it’s hip, innit?)
So here’s mine – then you have to give me yours:
This Mama so tired that… she realised that she’d thrown her dirty underwear in the toilet rather than in the laundry basket
This Mama so tired that… when writing a birthday card for one of Kai’s buddy’s she wrote
To Kai, Happy Birthday Love Kai x
This Mama so tired that… she can’t SEE!
I’m not kidding! I seriously thought I might be going blind. I booked an appointment at the opticians and prepared myself for the worst but turns out my eye sight in test is fine (phew!). Well, no worse than it’s ever been – I still have a slightly lazy eye. Apparently I’m just so exhausted that even the muscles in my eyes are tired! Thus giving me rather screwy vision, especially in bright light. The lovely leather elbow-patch cladded Optician prescribed me a decent pair of sunglasses and some sleep. He even may have used the word ‘dear’ and patted my arm.
THAT’S how tired I am.
So how tired are you Mama?
P.S. I’m know I’m being horrible and excluding Dads here but Yo Pappa doesn’t really sound right does it? Men folk – if you can pull it off or think of a Dad equivalent then by all means do so…
——————————————-
Related posts:
-
-
http://capitalmom.blogspot.com/
Ah yes, the old bait and switch routine. As in looking at how well I am sleeping/ eating/ being and then BAM. The un begins.
My kid was up at 5am after being up all night (thankfully with his dad). Still.
May tonight be a thousand times better for you.
.-= Capital Mom´s last blog ..Mousies =-.[Reply]
Josie Reply:
October 1st, 2009 at 11:17 am@Capital Mom, Yes we’re getting lots of ‘un’ right now. Thanks lovely x
[Reply]
-
http://www.britsinbosnia.blogspot.com
Your Kai, my Luke. Sleep twins. What gets me is that they let you know every now and then that they CAN do it. Just because, you know, Mummy will probably be awake most of the night anyway because she’s not used to you sleeping and then when she thinks we’ve cracked it – BLAM – hit her with the all night party game.
But, there is hope. Luke (at 2 1/2) has been sleeping from 8pm to 7am for the LAST WEEK. You and Kai will get there in the end.
Now, where’s the coffee? I’m not used to this much sleep…
.-= Brit in Bosnia´s last blog ..Our holidays. An almost wordless Wednesday =-.[Reply]
Josie Reply:
October 1st, 2009 at 11:16 am@Brit in Bosnia, Thank you for the words of hope – I really need them at the mo!
You’re right. Knowing they CAN do it just makes it all the more frustrating! x
[Reply]
-
http://insomniacmummy.com
This mama so tired that she can’t read tweets!
This mama so tired that she put the margerine in the cupboard.
This mama sooooo that tired she left the tap running in the bathroom for two hours.
.-= Insomniac Mummy´s last blog ..Vegtastic! – My first organic veg box =-.[Reply]
Josie Reply:
October 1st, 2009 at 11:16 am@Insomniac Mummy, I like the margarine one – I do stuff like that ALL the time! IM you must meet my best friend Marianne a few comments down – she’s in exactly the same boat as you r.e. insomnia x
[Reply]
-
This mama so tired she can no longer spell or type (I have corrected 8 mistakes in this sentence alone).
This mama so tired she takes it all out on poor hubby.
This mama so tired she has regressed to feeding babba to sleep at nap time because she is too tired to even go for a walk.
This mama so tired she burst into tears in public yesterday – urgh.
This mama so tired…..[Reply]
-
Hee hee…
So, as you already know from our antics today, despite having two babies who have slept through the night since three weeks old…but in catch-22 situation is herself an insomniac, this Mama is very tired.
This Mama put her mobile phone on the roof of the car to strap Izzy into her carseat, then frowned a puzzled frown, went and locked the door, got her things together and drove to town to meet you and the Bear, all the time wondering where that confounded mobile phone was…
After sitting in traffic for ten minutes and singing ‘twinkle twinkle little star’ with Lucy, the whole ‘where is that damn phone’ issue began to niggle me, so I resolved to turn around and go home to find it.
Get home, hope out of the car and skip into the house to find it…nope, can’t find the silly thing anywhere. Dial the number to try and track it down (this takes rather a long time as we have an old 1960s bakerlite telephone where you hook your finger into the number ring, rotate it round, then watch in wonder as it whirrs back around again; ringing anybody from my landline takes around half an hour, and when it rings, the phone sounds like a school fire alarm is going off).
I can hear it…I can hear it ringing, where is it…
Saunter towards the front door and see my phone ON TOP of the roof of my CAR!! Ringing!!!!
This Mama is so tired that she drove all the way to town and back with her mobile phone on the roof of her car…. Arrrgh!!!! Somebody pass the valium….
XXXX
[Reply]
Josie Reply:
October 1st, 2009 at 11:13 am@Marianne, Lucy & Izzy, I am STILL laughing about this. Bloody brilliant. As are you of course xxx
[Reply]
-
http://mwaonline.blogspot.com
That’s a serious double win – if you get sozzled, Kai sleeps better. I say hit the bottle!
.-= Mwa´s last blog ..R.I.P. any rest I still had =-.[Reply]
-
http://www.whoknewreviews.blogspot.com
I am sick, and have sick triplets, so, I am pretty darn tired too!
I would love for you to stop by the Blog For A Cure Blog Party I am hosting all week long at http://whoknewreviews.blogspot.com!
Its a great way to get new followers, win some prizes and support the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society![Reply]
-
http://www.strocel.com
It is way, WAY worse when they have a night of good sleep. It’s just long enough for your body to realize how completely and totally tired it actually is. I feel you.
Now, as for mine:
This mama so tired … she eats food the baby’s thrown on the floor because who even cares anymore?
.-= Amber´s last blog ..Walking, Walking Away =-.[Reply]
-
http://chroniclesofsharnia-sharnanigans.blogspot.com
this mama so tired she has forgotten words to put together for this thing you have asked
hey great site…. I made friends with you on facebook whilst at my dad’s house and his facebook was logged on (yes embarrassing I have a FATHER on facebook) and he is friends with you now… but he doesn’t know it – he will be thinking what the?? so disregard the Peter Montgomery friend / fan you now have – but hello to you sista – I am sleep deprived also. Great blog
.-= Sharni´s last blog ..Reminder to drink H20 =-.[Reply]
-
http://www.amodernmother.com
Poor you! Hope you get the real Kai back soon.
.-= A Modern Mother´s last blog ..My name is Susanna (not Suzanne, not Susie and certainly not Sue!) =-.[Reply]
Josie Reply:
October 1st, 2009 at 11:10 am@A Modern Mother, The real Kai?! Ah but the no-sleep Kai IS the real Kai – it’s the sleeping one that is the imposter! x
[Reply]
-
http://www.mummymania.blogspot.com
-
http://babieswhobrunch.blogspot.com
-
http://sandycalico.blogspot.com/
This mama so tired she sometimes doesn’t hear her boys crying in the night so papa has to get up. Mwah hahahahaha
.-= SandyCalico´s last blog ..The Gift of Life =-.[Reply]
Josie Reply:
October 1st, 2009 at 11:18 am
@rachel, Thank you – can really relate to the ‘mind always switched on’ feeling – it means even when you DO get a break you don’t feel rested! Oh well, it’ll get better I’m sure x
[Reply]