I”ll be honest. I’m having a bit of crud day. A crud couple of days actually. I started a great long moany post about how horribly hard life seems to insist on being at the moment but began to bore even myself so I stopped and took great pleasure in deleting all my self pitying nonsense.
Think yourself lucky you were spared. It was REALLY whiny and annoying – even for me.
Because truth is I should STFU and count my blessings. Yes, I seem to have been given the privilege of bringing up the World’s Most Difficult Child (well, I think he’d at least make the top 100, maybe top 20 on a bad day) but despite seriously making me question the wisdom of EVER deciding to have children and inflicting upon the world someone with my own horribly flawed genetic make-up, he is healthy, bright and, when not being the demon child from hell, actually rather lovely.
My huge great big kick up the rear came in the end from Sally over at Who’s The Mummy who has awarded SIFTW with this fab ‘Great Read’ award – how nice is that?!
Originally this meant I then had to tell you ten things about me, but Sally with her wonderful creative license tweaked it slightly to list ten happy memories. And because I need, NEED to remind myself of the positives tonight, I am going to follow her example and instigate a little tweak of my own.
So here we go.
10 reasons to be grateful that Kai is mine
1. No he doesn’t sleep. But the progressive sleep-deprivation training he has blessed me with over the last 14 months has made me mentally stronger and more resilient than I ever thought I could be. Need someone to hold up under torture? I’m your gal…
2. All that holding, carrying, rocking, and endless trips up and down the stairs every evening have given me biceps and calf muscles of steel. And I am thinner and fitter than I have been in as long as I can remember.
3. If it wasn’t for Kai I never would have discovered the very real joys that are extended breastfeeding, co-sleeping, baby wearing, attachment parenting and baby-led weaning. Without any of which my life, and my experience of motherhood would be far the lesser. By pushing me to my very limits, by constantly making me re-evaluate what I thought about babies and motherhood, Kai has forced me to adapt and find new ways to be a better parent. And I AM a better parent as a result. I don’t feel it most days, but I deep down I really believe that.
4. Kai gives the best cuddles in whole world. FACT. When not beating seven bells out of us he is probably the most affectionate, caring child you could ever hope to meet.
5. I used to be pretty lazy. It’s true. And self-absorbed and selfish. After having Kai I am now only slightly lazy, self-absorbed and selfish. That’s progress.
6. Watching Kai eat pasta bolognaise, laugh hysterically at random events until he falls down, dance and sing to everything even vaguely musical, crawl round with a farm animal in each hand and my bra around his neck, and try to whisper, makes up for all the crying, screaming, temper tantrums and abject refusal to anything he doesn’t want to do ten million times over.
7. His potential. Sometimes I look at him and I see the toddler, the boy, the man he will become and I shiver with excitement and anticipation (and a little fear). I wouldn’t want to miss that ride. Not for all the strong-black-tea-with-two-sugars in China.
8. For the joy and healing Kai’s arrival has brought to my family. He’s unified us in a way I never thought would have been possible, brought me closer to those I love the most, and the smile and the twinkle he brings to his very frail and elderly great-grandmother is worth every moment of heart-ache on it’s own.
9. I’m not a great believer in that ‘everything happens for a reason’ crap but I do sometimes wonder whether my experiences with Kai are preparing me for a time in my future when I’m going to need every ounce of my new found patience, tolerance, and finely honed sense of humour. Ant and I are just really, REALLY hoping it isn’t twins…
10. Yes Kai seems to need me a lot. A LOT a lot. In fact he seems to need me for something pretty much every minute of every day. But he also needs me. I will probably never be needed so much again in my entire life and I know I will miss that one day, very soon, when he is far too busy planning world domination, writing jokes about hilarious bodily functions and coming up with new and interesting things to do with dirt. I am grateful for this time of being so utterly, completely and unconditionally loved and needed. And will treasure that feeling forever.
So there we go, my Kai-ranasaurus, my little monster, my kling-on koala, my little bear. I love you. I love you a lot – just the way the you are.
Now for the love of god sleep you crazy child.
I’m now supposed to nominate some other blogs to pass on this lovely award to. For the purists amoung you feel free to revert to the whole ‘ten things about me’ clause. For the rest of you that are more ‘piss in the wind’ types then go nuts – 10 of anything is fine by me.
The following are deemed really, REALLY, great reads by me, the official authority on everything, so if you haven’t discovered them already I suggest you start clicking: